#if i take that away from myself what do i have left

[docrobinavitch]

sacraments of healing

dr. robby x f!attending!reader masterlist content: 18+ mdni, ANGST, swearing, no real medical stuff in this one besides a single cut and some sutures, family trauma, complicated mother/daughter dynamic, sibling death, grief, childhood trauma, mentions of physical/emotional childhood abuse, age gap (reader is about 34 i had to do the math to get the timeline right as you'll see, robby is probably like 53-54 here) words: 8.7K synopsis: loosely inspired by episode 2x06 of the bear (fishes) so if we have any bear stans here hi how are ya! reader is an attending at the pitt, did her residency under adamson, a fellowship in boston, and now has been back at the pitt for roughly two years. her and robby have been dating for the entirety of those two years, but have been working together since she was a resident (with the exception of her fellowship). robby insists on meeting her family when her mother reaches out to him via facebook and a nightmare ensues!! a/n: hi! thank you for all the love you've given but i stayed anyway, truly means the world to me. i hope you enjoy this one, tho i feel it is a bit niche so no worries if not!! please please note the content warnings and don't read if you think it'll bother you. ok talk soon.

“So,” Robby parked himself next to you at the hub while you looked up at the board, “Christmas Eve, are you picking me up or should I come get you?”

You frowned and turned to him, “What are you talking about?”

“The Feast of the Seven Fishes. At your parents’ place.”

You choked out a laugh and started walking towards a patient room, iPad in hand, “Right. You will not be attending that.”

“Ah, but I will. I already told your mother I’d be there.”

You stopped cold, forcing Robby to walk into you, and then turned to face him, “Since when are you in contact with my mother?”

He shrugged, that mischievous grin on his face, “She friended me on Facebook a few weeks ago.”

Oh, this could not be happening. This was your worst nightmare come to life. “Okay, well. Please block her and I will inform her that you won’t be coming.”

He gently reached out to grab your arm and pulled you to the side before you could walk away again, “Not happening. I want to meet your family. I will be coming. It’s not up for discussion.”

You could feel the panic rising in your chest, “Robby—“

“Baby, we’ve been dating for two years. You’ve met my family, dozens of times now.”

“Yes, well, your family is lovely. And normal.”

He smiled down at you, “And your family raised you. So they can’t be that bad.”

You closed your eyes and shook your head, “You have no idea what you’ve agreed to.”

“I’ve agreed to meet the people who made the woman I’m in love with,” He said tenderly. You were angry and scared out of your mind, but when he said that, you found yourself wanting to give in.

But you knew what would happen the second he met your family. You’d been through it before. Many times. Steeling your face, you walked around him.

“Look,” He said, walking in front of you again, “If you really don’t want me to come, I won’t, but then consider us done.”

Your eyes locked on his. There was no smile, no flush to indicate he was lying or teasing.

“You don’t mean that.”

He nodded, “I do.” He sighed, “I’m sorry, I can’t keep watching you build these walls up around yourself to keep me out and then pretend like everything’s fine.”

You laughed flatly, “Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”

“I did the work,” He said quietly, “For you. It’s your turn now.”

And then he left you like that, alone in the middle of the ER.

***

It was about a year ago when you had gone to Robby to request a day off from work. It was late February, still in the dead of winter. The city couldn’t quite shake off the snow.

“Hey, I wanted to see if I could take next Thursday off?” You asked as casually as you could manage, “I can find another attending to cover if you need—“

“No, it’s fine. I can manage by myself,” Robby looked up from his workstation, perching his glasses on his head, “What’s going on next Thursday?”

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, and then sighed, looking down at your hands, “It’s just, it’s the anniversary of my brother’s death so I just have a hard time being in the ER that day.”

“Oh,” Robby said, clearly caught off guard, “Sweetheart, I’m… so sorry I had no idea.”

“It’s fine,” You said quickly, uncomfortable with the attention and the sympathy, as you always were, “It was a long time ago.” You cleared your throat, “I have to go check on a patient.” You said and were gone before he could follow.

But you had felt his eyes on you for the rest of the shift. Sure enough, as soon as the two of you were out in the cold winter air, he brought it up.

“You never mentioned your brother died.”

You slowly inhale through your nose, “I don’t like to talk about it. It was over a decade ago.” You shrugged, as if the time had made it hurt less. It hadn’t, not exactly. The hurt was just different now. You had learned to live with it, bargain with it, figure out ways to work around it. But it was always there.

He nodded slowly, “And he died in an ER?”

You weren’t sure how much longer you could indulge this line of questioning before you were likely to snap at him. It was absolutely fair of him to be asking, you had talked him through Adamson and Jake’s girlfriend, Leah, more times than you could count.

But it was true what they said about doctors being terrible patients.

“Congenital heart failure, undiagnosed. He went into cardiac arrest during a half marathon. They got him back for a little bit in the ambulance, but he had been down a while, so.” You shrugged, concentrating on your foot prints through the snow so you wouldn’t see the way he collapsed, still a half mile away from you. You wouldn’t remember the way you had hopped the fence and sprinted to him, knees buckling when you got there. “We were nineteen.”

“Your twin?” He asked, voice soft.

You only nodded, “And before you ask, I’ve been tested. I don’t have it.”

“I bet that felt very unfair.”

No one had ever said that to you before and it nearly stopped you in your tracks. But it was true. You had spent many years, not being sad that your brother had died, but being absolutely furious with him for leaving you here, perfectly healthy, to carry on.

And when every test came back proving that you were healthy, everyone told you how lucky you were. Only it didn’t feel that way. It felt as though he had abandoned you.

The tears burned the back of your eyes, but you had grown very adept at keeping them at bay. You breathed through it until you thought it safe to speak again.

“He wasn’t supposed to go anywhere I couldn’t follow.” Despite your best efforts, your voice wavered and Robby heard it.

He reached for you, you felt his hand on your arm. It was likely he was pulling you in for a hug, but you shrugged him off.

You didn’t look at him, so you weren’t positive, but you could guess he had looked hurt by your dismissal. You kept walking, listening to his boots crunch in the snow next to yours. Reassurance that no matter how you pushed him away, he’d still be there.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, you cleared your throat, “There’s this ramen place a few blocks from your house I’ve been meaning to try. Do you want to order for dinner?”

“Sure.” He said after a few moments of silence.

It was a ceasefire agreement, disguised in take out ramen and letting you pick the movie to watch on his couch that night. He wouldn’t ask again about your brother. Not for a while. But it was only a temporary and tenuous peace, never meant to last.

And the clock was ticking.

***

“I suggest we Uber to my parents’ place.” You said the next day as you looked over a chart, “You’ll want to be drinking, I assure you. And I certainly will not be designated driver as I need to be absolutely smashed to get through the Feast.”

Robby bumped his shoulder into yours, “Ah, so we’re going then?”

“You didn’t give me much of a choice.”

He slipped a finger beneath your chin and tilted gently upwards until you were looking at him, “You always have a choice.”

You forced a smile and looked away. He didn’t understand that it was a false choice. No matter what you chose, you would lose him. You would lose him if you didn’t let him come, you would still lose him if he came.

Robby was smart. Every fault, every break in you, you had carefully glued together, disguised as something else so that he could love you. But there would be no hiding all the ways you were jagged and damaged once he saw your family. Once he understood.

You had seen it so many times before. Partners insisting they wanted to meet your family, despite your warnings. And you would watch as the night went on. They’d get quieter. Their fake laughter less convincing. The way their eyes deadened by the end of the night. They’d kiss you goodnight and roughly a week later, you’d get some bullshit excuse about why it wasn’t working. None of them ever admitted it was because of your family, about the future they saw for you written on the walls, but they didn’t have to.

And now, despite all the careful planning you had done, Robby would follow in their footsteps.

***

You looked up at your childhood home with Robby by your side just as the Uber dropped you off.

“Do you mind if I smoke a cigarette before we go in?” You asked.

Robby looked at you, eyebrows raised, “You don’t smoke.”

“I do when I’m here.” You took out a fresh pack and a lighter and started opening them, “Do you want one?”

He scratched his head, “No. I don’t think you should, either.”

You lit up the cigarette between your lips and took a drag, “Look, you wanted to come here. This is who I am when I’m here.”

“There she is! Our big shot emergency doctor!” Your older brother, Luka, threw his arms around your shoulders from behind, “Hey, what the fuck?” He took the cigarette out of your hands and threw it on the ground, “I thought you quit?”

“Jesus, Luka,” You pulled out another cigarette, “Can’t you mind your own fucking business for once?”

He smirked, “It’s good to see you too, Ace.” He kissed your hair and then looked at Robby, “Oh, and this must be the boyfriend, Robby, is it?” He reached a hand out to Robby, which Robby took, “It’s nice to meet you, finally.”

“Same here,” Robby smiled.

“What’s Robby short for, Robert?”

“Uh, no, my last name is Robinavitch. I go by Dr. Robby or Robby in the ER. My first name is Michael.”

Luka nodded and then turned his attention back to you, “Just so you know, she’s in rare form today. She’s been drinking wine since noon.”

You bit your lip and nodded, “Oh, you mean like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that—“

“Come on, don’t be a brat about it, okay? Tommy’s got it under control, he’s handling it.”

This time you really did laugh, “Oh, Tommy’s handling it, is he? You mean he’s enabling her?”

“Look, Tommy’s had a tough year with the… broken engagement as you know. Just go easy on him, okay?”

You stared at your second cigarette as if it would transport you to another dimension if you thought hard enough, “Yo, Ace, did you hear me?”

“Yes, I will be super fucking kind to Tommy.” You said, annoyed at the use of your childhood nickname, “Where’s your wife, by the way?”

“Oh, she wasn’t feeling well, she’s at home with the kids.”

You laughed and shook your head at Luka, “Good for her.”

“What? She really is sick.”

“Mhm,” You put out your cigarette, “I bet she is. No, really, I’m happy for her Luka. From the bottom of my heart.”

Luka looked up at the house, “You coming in or what?”

“Yeah,” You sighed, “In a minute.”

Luka walked off toward the house and you sighed heavily before looking at Robby, “Last chance to turn back.”

He smiled at you, “I’m not afraid of your family, baby.”

You cracked your neck to one side and then the other, “Well, that makes one of us.”

And then you led him inside.

***

Immediately, as you enter the house, everyone is shouting rather than talking at normal volume. You can hear the range hood going in the kitchen and your mother shouting over it. The unmistakable sound of the men in the living room, yelling about sports.

You were already regretting not preemptively taking ibuprofen before coming here.

“Look who has decided to grace us with her presence. It’s nice of you to come home and visit us humble folk, huh Ace?” Your mother shouts as soon as you walk through the entryway and you sigh heavily.

“Ma, this is Michael, Michael, this is my mother.”

“Call me Deb, sweetheart it’s so good to meet you.” She engulfed him in her arms, kissing his cheeks, “Oh, you’re so handsome, too.”

Robby reddened under the attention of your mother, “Please, it’s my pleasure. Your daughter is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You felt the flush in your cheeks at Robby’s words and looked around the room with feigned interest, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

Your mother dramatically put her hands to her heart and looked at you, “Did you hear that, Ace? He thinks we did a good job with you.”

You frowned, “Interesting. That’s not what I heard.”

Robby put his hand on your waist and squeezed lightly in warning. You badly wanted to push his hand off you, but held back, knowing it would upset him. And though you thought it a lost cause, you were still going to try to keep him tonight.

Your mother ignores your comment, “How old are you, Michael?”

“Mom.” You admonished immediately.

“What?” She asked, feigning casual, “I think it’s a natural question it’s is no secret he’s older than you.”

Robby smiled and laughed, hanging his head self deprecatingly, “Yes, I am… much older than Y/N.”

You looked at him, apology in your eyes, but he only shook his head slightly.

“Well how much older?” Her smile was strained.

“Ma, please.” You hissed, but she ignored you, continuing to stare at Michael.

“Uh,” Robby also gave a tight smile, clearly uncomfortable, “About twenty years.”

Your mother’s eyebrows flew up, “Well,” She looked back to you, “I guess that’s a no on having kids, then.”

“Oh my God,” You sighed and squeezed your eyes shut.

“What? It’s true, I mean he probably already has kids, right?”

Robby shook his head, “No. I have someone I consider to be like a step son, but no children of my own.”

Your mother stared at him silently for a few moments and then shifted her attention back to you, “Well your father loves you very much, so I’m not sure where this choice came from.”

This couldn’t be happening. They had been in the house all of five minutes and already, you were sure Michael was going to break up with you as soon as you left. Maybe sooner, if it kept going like this.

“Did you just invite him here to insult him?” You asked, voice raising.

“Baby, it’s okay.” Robby whispered in your ear.

“No, it’s not okay.” You said, “If you can’t be nice for one night, then we’ll leave.”

Your mother laughed airily, “Oh relax, Ace, you’re so sensitive! I’m only teasing!” She looked to Michael, “I’m only teasing, sweetheart, you gotta have thick skin if you want to be in this family.”

Robby managed a smile and put a hand over his heart, “No offense taken.”

God, he was so kind and perfect. They were going to fucking ruin him. “I really think we should go,” You whispered so only he could hear.

“Oh, come on. You think I wasn’t prepared for your family to take a jab at my age?” He lowered his head slightly so he could look in your eyes, “I want to be here. With you.”

Your mother turned back to Michael, beckoning you both to the kitchen, “What do you drink, honey, help yourself, there’s beer in the fridge, wine— HEY, WHO TURNED THE HEAT UP ON THE GRAVY? Oh for CHRIST’S SAKE it’s bubbling over everywhere— ACE WOULD YOU GET OVER HERE AND HELP YOUR MOTHER?”

You sighed heavily, “Jesus Christ,” You mumbled and then headed for the fridge, taking out two beers, you used the fridge magnet that doubled as a bottle opener to open them both, letting the caps clatter to the floor and leaving them there. You handed one to Robby, “You should stay away from the kitchen, it’s a war zone in there.”

“And what’ll you do?”

“What I always do,” You took a long swig from the beer, “Fix everyone else’s mess.”

“ACE DID YOU HEAR ME?”

“I’m coming Ma, one sec!”

“What’s with the ‘Ace’ thing?”

You sighed, “It’s a stupid nickname. Our family plays a lot of cards, they’re really superstitious. My grandma once got a full hand of aces while I was helping her play when I was, like, five. So they started calling me Ace. It got so out of hand, they wouldn’t let me sit at the table anymore. Claimed it was cheating to have me within a five foot radius of a game”

He laughed, “That’s cute.”

Just then, the sound of shattering glass came from the kitchen along with the hysterical shrieks of your mother. “Okay,” You said slowly, “I’m gonna go handle that. You’ll be okay out here?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about me, go.” He kissed you then, and even in your hopelessness you felt loved and safe, for just a second, “I love you.” He said, and you nodded, looking down at your beer bottle, “Hey,” He said and you looked up to meet his eyes, “I love you.” He said again slowly.

“Yeah,” You nodded, his words bringing you back down, “Yeah, I love you.”

“ACE, COULD YOU GET YOUR ASS IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN, PLEASE? CHRIST!” That was Tommy’s voice now and you sighed heavily.

“You’re sure you’re not regretting this yet?” You asked softly.

“Not even a little.” Robby said.

You nodded and stepped away from him. The night was still young.

***

Robby made his way to the living room, beer in hand, and was inundated with people he didn’t know and who barely spared him a glance as he entered the room. Not much in the mood yet to begin introducing himself to everyone, he found himself drawn to the mantel and the pictures perched above it.

He smiled a bit to himself as he noted pictures of little you with whom he assumed was Benji. He could tell, even from the pictures, just how close the two of you were. And his heart broke all over again imagining you having to watch him die.

“Are you Ace’s doctor boyfriend?” An older man came to his side, admiring the pictures as well.

Robby smiled, “What gave me away?”

The man shrugged, “You have the same nervous energy as she does. Always looking for a problem to solve. I’m Frank, her father.”

Robby shook the man’s hand, “Michael. It’s great to meet you, sir.”

“So how is she?”

Robby frowned, “She’s just in the kitchen, you could ask her yourself.”

He shook his head, “No, no, she won’t want to talk to me.”

Robby looked back at the photos, “She’s good,” He said, “She’s a fantastic doctor. We’re lucky to have her.”

“I already knew that part,” He smirked, “But outside her work?”

Robby inhaled deeply, “To be honest with you, sir, I’m still trying to figure that out myself.”

Her father nodded, “Yeah, me too. I’ve been trying to figure her out ever since Benji died. Just to know if she’s okay. I’m pretty shit at it, though.” He laughed.

Robby looked back at the photos, “I am very sorry for your loss.” He paused, “Could you… tell me more about Benji? She doesn’t talk about him much, but I can tell it still weighs on her.”

The man, Frank, was silent for a moment as he looked at the photos. “Her and Benji were inseparable. They did everything together. They had the same friends, everything. Applied to all the same schools and went to the same one. You never had to worry about them because even if they never came to us, they always had each other.

We were always very busy with four kids. Never a break. And there’s this home video I think about a lot, even now. It’s Christmas morning, they’re about five or six, opening their presents. Their mother and I are helping one or both of the other boys with something. And there’s a good thirty seconds or so where she's holding a gift that she needs help opening, a doll or something, and she repeatedly calls for her mom. Over and over. She never gets upset, she’s very calm, no crying. And nobody turns. I watch it now and I can’t understand how neither of us heard her. But of course, Benji hears her, and he goes over and grabs a pair of scissors and helps her open the package. That’s how it always was with them. They didn’t need us.”

He sighed, “And then when Benji died it was… Well, it was like she went adrift and we had no idea how to even begin to try to anchor her. Benji would have. I remember her crying that day in the hospital, hysterically sobbing by the time we got there. And then never again. I never saw her cry after that. She was the one who made all the funeral arrangements, picked out his casket, picked out a plot at the cemetery. She fundraised so we didn’t have to worry about the medical bills or funeral costs. She put together slide shows and picked out music. She picked the restaurant we went to after the burial. And I don’t think any of it was because she wanted to do that. We didn’t give her much choice. Her mom and I fell apart. Neither of us could get out of bed. And I think she heard Benji calling for us, like he heard her that Christmas morning.”

He shook his head and sniffled, “Her mother doesn’t like to see it that way, but I think out of all our kids, I think we failed her. And I don’t blame her for not coming home.”

Finally, he looks at Robby, “I’m not sure why I told you all that. I guess maybe I’m hoping that you’ll figure out how to anchor her. That she won’t be lost at sea the rest of her life.”

Robby looks down at his beer bottle and sighs before looking back up at the man, “I’m sure as hell trying.”

***

“So, the new boyfriend is also a doctor?” Tommy was perched on the counter, sipping a beer. Their mother was stirring various things on the stove and shoving things in and out of the oven while shouting at people to get out of the kitchen. You were mopping up some sort of sauce from the floor and throwing out shattered pieces of glass.

“Yes.” You said, “He’s not new though, we’ve been dating for two years now.”

“Well he’s new to us because you never come home.” Your mother interjected.

You looked back down at the floor, “God, grant me the serenity,” You murmured as you threw larger pieces of glass into the trash.

“Mom’s right, you know,” Tommy said, “Ever since Benji died you basically abandoned us.”

Your hands stilled for only a moment and then you were moving again, “I was in college, and then medical school, and then residency, Tommy. What the fuck did you want me to do, drop out and wallow in my misery like the rest of you did? Let it fucking eat me alive?”

There was sweet, blissful silence, for just a moment and then— “Maybe you should have instead of acting like a goddamn robot after he died. Might’ve done you some good. Might have bonded you with the rest of your family.” Your mother said.

Oh, you were so tired of all of this. Of the criticism of every little thing you had done since Benji died, down to the way you had grieved. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I had been competing in the grief olympics.”

“Come on, Ace, she didn’t mean it like that—“ Tommy started.

“Yes she did.” You said, “Didn’t you, mom? You don’t think I grieved correctly, isn’t that right? What was it you said to me just fucking weeks after he died? ‘Do you even miss him?’”

She continued stirring, “I don’t remember it that way.”

You scoffed and returned to picked up glass, “Un-fucking-believable.”

“Ace…” Tommy said in warning.

“It’s fine, Tommy. I’m fine.” You said.

“Yes, your sister is always fine.” Your mother said, “The picture of composure, unlike her nuthouse of a family that she can’t stand to be around.”

You threw the last piece of glass into the trash harder than was necessary, “I need some air.” You murmured and then left before anyone else could say anything.

You ran into aunts and uncles and cousins on your way outside, forcing smiles and quick hugs until you hit the cold December air. You breathed in shakily as you pulled out your pack of cigarettes, lighting another.

As if he had been summoned, Robby appeared next to you, “You doing okay, Ace?”

You made a face at him, “Please don’t call me that.”

He smiled and put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him, “I saw some pictures of you and Benji when you were little. You were adorable, as expected.”

You hummed, cracking a small smile, “The only reason those are still up are because Benji’s in them. You’ll notice there’s no pictures up of me by myself. There’s barely any of Tommy or Luka either. It’s hard to compete for the favorite child when one of them is dead.”

Robby was quiet for a few moments and you thought you could actually hear the gears in his head turning. He took the cigarette from your hand and took a drag before handing it back to you, “I was talking to your dad, he’s very proud of you.”

“He said that?”

Robby nodded, "More or less."

You scoffed, “Well, nice of him to say it to you.”

“He’s never told you?”

You shook your head, “We’ve barely spoken since Benji. He looks at me and all he sees is the son he lost.”

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly.

You took a step away from him, “Why are you sorry? This is what you wanted, right? Why you wanted to come? So you could see up close and personal why I’m so fucked up?”

He shook his head, “Come on, don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Lash out at me after you were just vulnerable. You do this all the time. It’s fucking exhausting.”

You scoffed, “What’s exhausting is you bringing us here when I fucking told you it would be a disaster. And now, on top of everything else,” You gestured wildly to the house, “I have to walk on glass around you too in a surely doomed attempt at making you want to stay.”

He shook his head sadly, “Baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You want to argue, but you feel the burning in your eyes and you can’t cry right now. So you turn away from him, breathing slowly, and finish your cigarette.

The front door opens, and with it, the sound of the stereo playing Christmas music and the competing of a dozen voices to be heard over it. The sound quickly vanishes when the door closes.

“Hey, Ace, mom’s looking for you, said she needs your help with the lasagna.” It’s Luka’s voice.

You sigh, “Why the fuck is she making lasagna for a feast of fishes?”

“You know no one eats the other shit,” He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes, “You okay?”

You sigh heavily, frustrated that this check in from your older brother had increased the wetness in your eyes that you were actively fighting. You shrugged off his hand, “I’m fine.”

He nodded, but you knew he wasn’t convinced, “It is really good to have you home, Ace.”

You barked a laugh that sounded almost like a sob, “Don’t know why, all I do is piss off mom more than she already is.”

“She loves you,” He said quietly, “You know that.”

“Oh, fuck off, Luka.”

“What? I love you. We all love you. Hey, fuckin’ look at me, would you?” He grabbed you by the shoulders forcefully turned you, but his eyes darted to your hand and he frowned, “Are you bleeding?”

You looked at your hand that was holding the cigarette and found that you were, in fact, bleeding from a cut in your palm. You must have cut it on the glass in the kitchen when you were cleaning up.

“Ah, shit.” You sighed and put out your cigarette.

“Let me see?” Robby said instantly and reached for your hand.

You allowed it, him taking care of you even though you were capable of evaluating the wound yourself. It calmed you almost immediately, his touch as he focused on your injury.

“Do you guys have a first aid kit inside?” He asked.

Luka sighed, “Probably some bandages and rubbing alcohol, but I don’t know that you’ll find much else.”

“Robby, it’s fine, it can’t be that deep I didn’t even feel it.”

“I can’t tell with all the blood and it’s too dark out here,” He started leading you back to the house, “Come on, we’ll rinse it off and take a look.”

You rolled your eyes in Luka’s direction, who smirked and followed you both back inside.

With all the cooking going on, reentering the house felt akin to walking into a sauna. Combined with the noise level from all the shouting and music, you were instantly overwhelmed again. You allowed yourself to be led, Robby’s hand gently tugging on the wrist of your injured hand.

“I’ll go find those bandages,” Luka called out before disappearing upstairs.

Robby tugged you into the kitchen, which was the last place you wanted to be.

“Oh, finally, we’ve been looking for you—“ Your mother stopped when she saw your hand, “Well how the hell did you manage that?”

“Excuse me, Deb,” Robby said politely, “Could we use your sink?”

“Oh, of course,” She stepped out of the way and let Robby by. He turned the water on and started temperature checking it with his free hand, waiting for it to warm, “Must be nice having an emergency doctor as a boyfriend, especially for Ace, she’s such a clutz.”

You closed your eyes, “I’m an emergency medicine doctor, too, Ma.”

“Oh, but you’re just a student! You’re in your, what do they call that, when you’re practicing after med school, but not really—“

“A resident?” Robby offered.

“Yes!” Your mother snapped her fingers, “That’s it, you’re in your residency, dear.”

It was taking everything you had not to sigh. Robby pulled your hand under the water and you winced at the sting to your cut, “I finished my residency four years ago. I’m an attending now. Just like Robby.”

She was quiet for a moment, “No, that… That can’t be right. You were doing your residency at PTMC—“

“Yes, and then I did a fellowship in Boston and then I came back to PTMC. As an attending.”

She frowned, “You were in Boston? You never told me that.”

Robby pulled your hand out of the water and you felt his fingers near the wound again.

“Yes, I did. You just don’t listen to me unless it’s something that pertains to you.”

The room got quiet. Robby turned off the water.

Your mother laughed, breaking the silence, and poured herself another glass of wine, “Well, anywho, it must be nice to have someone to look after you. You were so clumsy as a kid!”

“Was she?” Robby asked, still laser focused on your wound, he was applying pressure with some paper towels. Luka had returned with supplies.

“Oh, yes! One time, I remember, she was helping set the table. She picked up this beautiful eggplant parmesan I had made, fresh out of the oven with her bare hands! And immediately dropped it, of course. Burned her hands. Whole dish shattered and cut her up. She has the cutest little scar on her leg.”

You almost laughed and you found the silence of your brothers very telling. Robby was wrapping gauze around your palm now, having cleaned out the wound, “You’ll need stitches, but I can do them later tonight. I have a suture kit at home.” He said quietly.

But you barely heard him over the roaring in your ears.

“That’s not how I remember it.” You said, deathly quiet and calm.

“What?” Your mother said, smile still on her face.

“The cut on my leg, that’s not how it happened.”

“Ace…” You heard Luka behind you, the warning clear in his voice.

“Oh, fuck you, Luka. I know you know it too you were there.”

Your mother laughed, “Well, what happened then, hm? Enlighten us.”

Tommy was shaking his head at you from behind your mother. Please, don’t. It said.

But you were so fucking tired of it all. The disappointment, the subtle jabs disguised as teasing, the rewriting of history.

You picked up Robby’s beer from the counter behind him and took a long drink, “What I remember is that you and dad were fighting and I said something that pissed you off, similar to most things I’ve said tonight, and as I was walking away, you flung the eggplant parmesan in my direction. When it shattered, the glass ricocheted off the floor and cut me, which is why the scar is on the back of my leg. Not the front.”

Tommy hung his head behind your mom. Nobody else moved, but you thought you could feel the tension radiating off Luka just behind you.

But after a few moments, your mother laughed, loudly. The sound was grating and you nearly winced. “You always did have such a wild imagination, you and Benji both.”

“I didn’t imagine it, that’s how it happened.”

“What was it that Benji used to say? Oh, that kid was so clever. He used to joke that if you weren’t so good at science you’d be a New York Times Bestseller with all the crazy stories you came up with!”

Your mother laughed more loudly this time, but everyone else in the room was quiet.

“Well, it’s too bad Benji’s not here.” You said coolly.

Your mother’s laugh died out. The only sound was of the range hood and the Christmas carols that were still blasting from the living room.

“And whose fault is that?” She said viciously.

In a way, it felt like a relief to hear her say it. All these years, you knew she blamed you. Probably resented that it was you who was with him when he went. She almost definitely wished it was you who was dead and not him. Well, she could get in line.

But mostly, you felt as though you couldn’t breathe. Your brothers were yelling around you, but you had no idea what they were saying. Robby had carefully placed himself in front of you. You thought maybe he was trying to break up the yelling. In another lifetime, perhaps, you would have found it funny that he was trying to break up a fight in your childhood home the same way he would break one up in the ER.

Quietly, you slipped away, passing your father in the hallway who called after you. Likely to ask you what the fuck was going on in the kitchen.

But you passed without a word and headed up the stairs.

Second door on the left, you could have found it with your eyes closed. The door creaked when you opened it, as it always had.

Closing it behind you, you reveled in the quiet first. The rest of the house was muffled from up here.

You trailed your fingers over the dusty sports trophies on their shelves, the CDs in a pile by the stereo.

You laid down on the navy blue bed that still, impossibly, smelt like him and stared at the popcorn ceiling. Glow in the dark stars stuck there. He had tried to pry many of them off when they became teenagers, but he could never get them all. Remnants of glue still stuck to the ceiling.

“I don’t understand why you have to fight with her so much.” Benji’s voice echoed in your head, “It’s easier to just placate her. We’ll be out of here soon anyway.”

“You don’t understand,” You had said through tears, “I’m the only girl. She has astronomically higher standards for me than she does for you. Or Luka or Tommy.”

“What does it matter?” He said, “Look, you’re way smarter than any of the rest of us. You’re going to get everything you’ve ever wanted, not because of her, but despite her.”

You shook your head, “And what if all I’ve ever wanted is for her to be proud of me? To be enough, just once?”

Benji had sighed and rested his head on yours, “Then I’ll be so stupid proud of you that you won’t even notice she’s not.”

Silent tears rolled down your face into your ears as you recalled the memory. You took his pillow and pressed it over your face.

***

Robby was beginning to understand it, now. Why you had been so afraid of bringing him here, of letting him in. He had thought all of it had been wrapped up in the grief of losing your brother, your twin, but this was clearly heaps and bounds more complicated than that.

He had expected maybe some tension and small tiffs, he had not expected learning that you were likely emotionally neglected as a child at best and physically abused at worst. He hadn’t expected to hear your mother outright blame you for your brother’s death. And he hadn’t expected to have to physically insert himself between you and your family for fear of a fight breaking out.

“Hey, that’s enough!” Robby shouted over the yelling, and they all turned to look at him in shock. But they were quiet, “What the fuck?” He said breathlessly, and looked straight at your mother.

“She’s fucking impossible, sometimes.” Your mother said bitterly, “I’m sure you know.”

He looked behind him and noticed that you were gone. Likely you had slipped outside for some air. He turned back to your mother, “Your son had congenital heart disease, as I understand it. There was nothing anyone could have done to save him. Especially not a nineteen year old girl.”

Deb was shaking her head, “She didn’t call us until he was already gone. We didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to him because of her.”

Robby sighed and shook his head. This was a resentment that was more than a decade old. There was nothing he could say to make this better or make her see that you weren’t culpable for what happened to Benji. And it broke his heart that you had carried this for years, silently and alone. Never talking about Benji, likely because you didn’t feel you deserved to. If your own mother blamed you for the death of your twin, it was unlikely you didn’t blame yourself too.

While he was talking to your mother, Luka had swiftly left the room. He heard the sound of the front door opening and shutting, and then Luka was back.

“She’s not outside.” Luka said to Robby.

“Where else would she go?”

Tommy and Luka shared a look, Robby looked to and from both of them, “What?” He asked, impatiently.

“Benji’s room.” Luka said, quietly, “She’s probably with Benji. Upstairs, second door on the left.”

Robby nodded, “Thank you.” And headed up the stairs.

***

There was a knock at the door and you removed the pillow from your face. You weren’t sure you wanted anyone else to know you were in here, but judging by the quiet knock and the absence of someone yelling at you, you suspected it was Robby. Still, you hesitated.

“It’s me,” He said finally, “Can I come in, please?”

You sat up and put Benji’s pillow in your lap, “It’s open.”

You watched Robby enter the room, looking around first, before looking to you. You looked a bit like a vulnerable child in here, sitting on the tiny twin bed and legs crossed in front of you. Your eyes were bloodshot and your cheeks glistened wet with tears.

And when your eyes locked onto his, your face crumpled.

He pulled you into his arms immediately and was shocked when you didn’t push him away, but pulled him closer. He didn’t say anything, but rocked you gently and kissed your hair until you quieted.

“I would hope this would go without saying, but your mother was way fucking out of line.” He tightened his arms around you slightly, “But I know you and your tendency to blame yourself. I’ve watched you do it since you were just an intern. And so I wonder if all these years you had thought it was your fault and your mother repeating it back to you almost felt affirming.”

You didn’t say anything for a few moments, focusing on getting your breathing under control. You knew you had to have this conversation with Robby, there was no way to get out of it without losing him. He had seen everything you were so afraid of him seeing, and still he had come up here and held you. He hadn’t shied away from any of it.

“I know that rationally, there was nothing I could have done. But it doesn’t really make a difference. What if I had run a little faster? What if I had been CPR certified when he collapsed? What if—?”

“You’ll kill yourself thinking like that. You were nineteen. You were just a kid.”

“So was he. And every fucking birthday I’m reminded of how much he was shorted.”

Robby’s quiet for a moment, running a hand through your hair and gently wiping the tears from your cheeks, “How do you think Benji would feel if he knew you’d been carrying this around for fifteen years? That you never celebrate your shared birthday because you’re too busy playing the what if game?”

You looked around his room and sniffled, “He’d probably tell me I sound like our mom making everything about me and to get a fucking grip.”

Robby chuckled, “I think I would’ve liked your brother.”

You hiccuped and looked up at Robby, a sad smile on your face, “He would’ve liked you, too.”

He cupped your face in his hands and gently kissed you. The taste and smell of him was so familiar and comforting to you, you were sure your heart rate must have slowed back to normal rhythm while he kissed you.

When he pulled away, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I think we can get out of here now, what do you say?”

You balked, “Seriously?”

He nodded, “Yeah, is Chili’s open on Christmas Eve? I think you’ve earned a five dollar margarita.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s Happy Hour anymore, but it’s the thought that counts.” You laughed, “You’re sure? You were really adamant about coming here.”

“Yes,” He nodded, “and it resulted in you smoking, slicing your hand open, shotgunning at least four beers, and hysterically crying all in under two hours. Not to mention, I’m not going to force you to be polite to your mother after she blamed you for Benji in front of everyone.” He sighed, “I wanted you to let me in and you have. I’m sorry that I pushed so hard, I didn’t think—“

“No, it’s okay. You were right. I would’ve just kept pushing you away and then I would’ve lost you. So thank you, for pushing.” You took a deep shaky breath, “I’ve never spoken to anyone about Benji dying, what it felt like. Not even my brothers. I was always afraid it would be… too much.”

Robby shook his head and pressed more kisses to the side of your face, “Not too much. Never too much. I’m honored to know you, every piece.”

You inhaled shakily, “Well, you ready to go tell them we’re leaving?”

He allowed you to climb out of his arms and rise to standing, “I have no issue telling them exactly why we’re leaving. I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise.”

You huffed a laugh, “Yeah, well, you underestimate my mother’s ability to gaslight and manipulate, then.”

Sure enough, as they went downstairs to gather their coats and things, your mother waxed poetic about all the food she had made that would go to waste and how she never got to see you and how could you leave so early?

You had warned him, but Robby was still shocked at the way your mother pretended to have no idea why you could be leaving. To position herself as the victim in this scenario. She hadn’t even tried to apologize since you had padded back down the stairs.

“Thank you for inviting us, Deb, but it’s pretty clear that there’s a lot of open hostility between the two of you that is not conducive to the holiday spirit.” He grabbed your coat and helped you into it, rubbing down your arms soothingly once it was on, “I’d rather not see a physical fight break out between my girlfriend and her mother on Christmas Eve.”

Your mother looked at him incredulously, “Are you talking about earlier?” She laughed and playfully patted your arm, “Oh, that was nothing. We have little tiffs like that all the time. Or we used to, when she made time for us. Isn’t that right, Ace?”

You were staring silently at a spot on the wall and Robby noted that it seemed like you were dissociating. The more minutes that passed, the worse he felt for forcing you to come here, “If that was ‘nothing’ to you, then that just affirms my decision to remove us from the circus,” Robby said, forcing a smile and reaching behind the two of you to open the front door, “I would say it was lovely meeting you, but I’m not a very good liar.”

Once outside in the frigid night air, you immediately fished out your pack of cigarettes. Robby decided once you were home, he would toss them in the trash. Maybe buy the both of you a pack of nicotine gum for the foreseeable future. Just that one drag earlier coupled with the hectic nature of your childhood home had him craving a smoke.

“Hey, Robby!” It was one of your brothers who ran out of the house after the two of you. The older one, Luka, if his memory served him correctly.

He looked over Robby’s shoulder at you, lighting a cigarette, before focusing his attention back on Robby, “I just, um, wanted to say thank you for having Ace’s back in there.” He said softly, “I wish it was me who had the backbone to stand up for her.” Luka’s eyes shone with unshed tears in the moonlight, “Benji always took care of her and I think all the time how disappointed he would be that I don’t. It’s hard, with how our mother is to… to stand up to her sometimes. It’s stupid, I’m an adult now, but. She’s still my mom.”

He sighed heavily, “Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling, I just… Ace has brought a lot of men home over the years. Never more than once. They tend to disappear after seeing what a mess we all are. None of them ever had her back like that so I hope you stick around.” Luka smiled then and clapped Robby on the back, “Take care of my baby sister, please?”

Robby nodded and gave Luka a small smile, “Of course.”

Luka nodded back and then walked towards you, still smoking a cigarette a healthy distance away, “Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi,” You said as you exhaled cloud of smoke.

“I’m sorry about what mom said. She didn’t mean it, she’s drunk—“

“Don’t defend her.”

“I’m not.” Luka sighed and scratched his head, “Fuck, I don’t know, maybe I am. Whatever. The point is, it’s not fuckin’ true. Any of it. You did your best when Benji died, we all did. You were just a fuckin’ kid who took on way more than you should have. And I’m sorry that I never helped lessen the burden. I should have. As your older brother, I should have protected you.”

At this, you looked up at him and gave him a watery smile, “Thanks, Luka. But just so you know, I never blamed you or Tommy. For any of it.”

“I know.” He said, and pulled you into a one armed hug, kissing the top of your head, “Let him take care of you. Robby. You deserve to be taken care of for once.”

A tear slid onto your cheek, “Okay.”

He released you and started backing away from both you and Robby, “See you next year?”

At that, you laughed, “Only if you’re paying for my therapy bills.”

He laughed and then waved before turning back towards the house, hands in his pockets.

***

Back at Robby’s house, full of too many Southwestern Eggrolls and margaritas, you sat at his kitchen counter with your wounded hand unwrapped and cradled in both of Robby’s hands. You watched as he carefully sutured you, filled with so much tenderness for him after the night you’d had, you thought you might burst with it.

“Luka mentioned that the boyfriends you've brought home tended to leave after meeting your family.” Robby said as he worked, “Was that why you were so afraid to bring me?”

“Yeah, that was a big part of it. I also just didn’t think I was ready for you to see all of me, like that.”

He finished up the last suture and cut the excess. Then began wrapping your hand again. “You know, when you first started your residency, I used to talk with Adamson about how you were the only resident I ever met who never, ever seemed phased by anything that happened in the ER. You never had that adjustment period everyone else has, of figuring out how to adapt to the chaos. You operated like the chaos was all you’d ever known. I wish I could tell him that I finally figured out why.”

You chuckled at that, “I think he knew, actually.”

Robby looked up at you, “Really?”

You nodded slowly, “Well, I had to tell him about Benji when the anniversary came up so that I wouldn’t be scheduled that day. But, early in my residency, there was one day I kept getting repeated calls from my mother. He overheard when I picked it up. I don’t even remember what she was upset about, just that I had to spend a few minutes talking her down from the ledge. The way a parent would to a child. And when I hung up, he said he didn’t know I had kids.” You laughed now, recalling the memory, “Anyway, when I explained, humiliated, that it was actually my mom calling, he didn’t really say anything. But he had that look on his face, you know the one, when he’s finally solved a puzzle he’s been working on for weeks.”

Robby smiled fondly. It was lovely to see him reminisce about Adamson in a joyful way. He had had to work really hard for that, you knew. You hoped you’d get there one day yourself.

He gently patted your hand after a moment, “Well, wound is taken care of. You ready for bed?”

You yawned, “Yes, please.”

You crawled into sheets that smelt like Robby and curled up into his side. You felt a bit silly now that you had ever been afraid of him meeting your family. You had watched him manage an emergency room for years, near flawlessly. To him, your mother was just another irritable patient. And he was really, really good at managing irritable patients.

“Thank you,” You said softly into the dark, “For taking care of me.”

He hummed and lightly scratched at your scalp, “Of course. I’ve got you,” He murmured, “Always.”

[enby-spacerok]

I just really love that there's another person out here who feels so passionate about the excellent quality of this movie. This was probably THEE favorite movie for my younger sister and I to watch together when we were kids. In no small part because I was Nani and my sister was Lilo. In our case, our parents weren't dead, they were divorced. My mother was abusive but had custody of us because my father could not support himself and so wasn't a viable option for care. Even at 8 and 13 though we knew that if other people knew about our situation, we'd go into the foster system and probably wouldn't see each other again. So we lied.

We pretended it wasn't that bad. But we acted out. We were both treated like rabid dogs in our own respective age groups, but we were the only ones that truly understood each other. Our situation brought us closer. It also made us isolated. We didn't have a community. We'd been cut off from all our extended family. So I parented my sister the best I could, although not consciously. I remember acting out different scenes from the movie. Doing the voices. Making my sister laugh.

Yet I also vividly remember the ice cold fear I felt watching the scenes where separation was being threatened or happening. It cemented this feeling for extreme caution I had but couldn't put words to.

I also remember a night when my mother had kicked my sister and I out of the house (10 and 15 at the time), and we slept in my dad's van in a parking lot all night. My sister sobbed herself to sleep but i was electrified with anger all night. I remember promising myself that I would do whatever I could to keep things together, even though I had no idea what that would take

I failed though. We weren't taken away from our parents but we were eventually separated by way of me graduating high school. As I left she went into high school. Without me there things were so much worse. Lilo without Nani is a disaster. If I could have supported myself and her I would have for 4 years till she was an adult. We needed community though. I wished aliens would fall to earth in our backyard and save us. The cruelty of it all was what was being pointed out in the movie-- it didn't need to be this way if there were resources and support! I would have taken custody of my sister if I could have. Watching Nani inspired that thought and i considered it many times over several years. I didn't know how I could have ever done it on my own though...

I still love this movie. I watch it when I need comfort and I think about my sister every time I turn it on. 🌊🐠🥪

Fuck it, I didn't want to make a post on this but it's bugging the hell out of me so let's exorcize the thought.

Lilo and Stitch is an extremely good children's movie. I've been working at a daycare for over five years now, and out of all the children's movies I've shown to an auidence of twenty or so school-age kids (i.e. between the ages of 5 and 12), the only movie that's held their attention as well as Lilo and Stitch is The Emperor's New Groove, and the only one that's held it better is An American Tail. Of those three, Lilo and Stitch has won the vote of "what movie we will watch" the most. It not only entertains kids, but emotionally captivates them from start to finish, because it very thoroughly understands how to engage children on their level. It's a smart, tightly written children's movie.

The feat of story-telling genius it pulls of lies in its ability to reach both where children's imaginations want to go and where their lived real-world experiences lie - most children's movies focus on one or the other, but Lilo and Stitch dives deep into both. On the imagination side, there's Stitch's whole plotline of being a little alien monster being chased by other weirdo aliens onto earth because they want to stop him from running amok and causing havoc (which, of course, happens anyway in fun cartoony comedy/action spectacle). On the real-world side, you have Lilo's plotline of being a troubled little girl who has an abundance of very real problems that, like an actual child, she struggles to comprehend and deal with, as well as the many adults in her life that care about her to some degree but all struggle to fully understand her. Kids want to be Stitch and run amok and cause cartoony havoc. Kids, even the least-troubled kids, relate to Lilo, because all of them have been in a similar situation as her at least once in their lives.

Balancing these two very different stories, with very different tones and scopes to their respective conflicts, is a hard writing task, but Lilo and Stitch manages to do it in a way that seems effortless with one very powerful trick. The two plots are direct mirrors to each other, complete with the characters involved in each having foils in the respective plot. To break it down:

Stitch, the wild and destructive alien gremlin who everyone has labeled as a crime against existence, is Lilo, the troubled young girl who's viewed as a "problem child" by all the adults in her life. In both plotlines, Stitch and Lilo are facing the threat of being "taken away" from the life they know because they act out, and in both plotlines, we see that this is an unfathomably cruel thing to do to them and will not actually solve the problems they have.

Dr. Jumbaa, the mad scientist who made Stitch because making monsters is what mad scientists do, and who had no intentions of ever being nurturing or parental to anything or anyone in his life, is Nani, Lilo's older sister whose parents died when she was young and now is forced to act as a parental substitute despite not being mentally or emotionally prepared for that responsibility yet. Both Dr. Jumbaa and Nani are trying to get their respective wild children in line with what society wants them to be, and both are struggling hard with it because they in turn have a lot of growing to do before they can actually accomplish that.

Pleakley, the nebbish alien bureaucrat who ends up being assigned to help Dr. Jumbaa despite being mostly uninvolved in creating the whole Stitch situation, is David, the nice but mostly ineffectual guy who's crushing on Nani and wants to help her but doesn't really have much he can provide except emotional support. Ultimately Pleakley and David prove that said emotional support is a lot more helpful than it seems on the surface, as they give Jumbaa and Nani respectively a lot of the pushes they need to become better in their parental roles.

The Grand Councilwoman, who runs the society of aliens that is trying to banish Stitch forever for his crime of existing, is Cobra Bubbles, the Child Protective Services agent who is in charge of deciding whether or not Lilo needs to be taken away from her home forever for, ostensibly, her own good. Both are well-intentioned and stern, with a desire to follow the rules of society and do what procedure says is the most humane thing to do in this situation, but both lack the understanding of Stitch/Lilo's situation to actually help until the end of the movie.

Finally, we have Captain Gantu, the enforcer of the Galactic Council who is a mean, aggressive, sadistic brute but is viewed as a "good guy" by society because he plays by its rules (well, when he knows can't get away with breaking them, anyway), who is the counterpart of Myrtle, the mean, aggressive, sadistic schoolyard bully who is viewed as a "good kid" by other adults because she plays by the rules they established (well, when she knows she can't get away with breaking them, anyway). Both Gantu and Myrtle are, in truth, much nastier in temperament than Stitch and Lilo, but are better at hiding it in front of others and so get away with it, and often make Stitch and Lilo look worse in the eyes of others by provoking them to violence and then playing the victim about it - in fact, both even have the same line, "Does this look infected to you?", which they say after goading their respective wild-child victims into biting them.

The symmetry of these two plotlines allows them to actually feed into each other and build each other up instead of fighting each other for screentime. The fantastical nature of Stitch's plot adds whimsy to the far more realistic problems that Lilo faces so they don't get too heavy for the children in the audience, while the very real struggles of Lilo in her plotline bleed over into Stitch's plot and make both very emotionally poignant. When both plotlines hit their shared climax, they reach children on a emotional level few other movies can match - the terror of Lilo being taken away from her family, and the emotional complexity of that problem (Cobra Bubbles pointing to Lilo's ruined house and shouting at Nani, "IS THIS WHAT LILO NEEDS?" is so starkly real and heart-breaking), is matched and echoed in the visual splendor and mania of the spectacular no-way-this-is-going-to-work chase scene where Stitch, Nani, Jumbaa, and Pleakley all team up to rescue Lilo from Gantu.

The arcs of the characters all more or less line up. Nani confronts her own failures to be a guardian and parent to Lilo and resolves to do better and learn from her mistakes. Jumbaa, who through most of the movie protests to be evil and uncaring, nonetheless comes to not only care for Pleakley, but more importantly for Stitch too, and ends up assuming the role he never wanted but nonetheless forced himself into from the start: he is Stitch's family. Hell, the moment that reveals this is really clever - Stitch goes out into the wilderness to try and re-enact a scene from a storybook of The Ugly Duckling, hoping, in a very childish way, that his family will show up and love him. Jumbaa arrives and, coldly but not particularly cruelly, tells Stitch that he has no family - that Stitch wasn't born, but created in a lab by Jumbaa himself. But in that moment Jumbaa is proving himself wrong - because Stitch's creator, his parent, DID show up, and did exactly what happens in the story by telling Stitch the truth of what he is. It can't be a surprise, then, that later in the movie Jumbaa ends up deciding to side with Stitch, to help him save Lilo, and to stay on Earth with his child.

David and Pleakley go from being pushed away by Nani and Jumbaa respectively to essentially becoming their partners in the family. The Grand Councilwoman and Cobra Bubbles finally see how cruel their initial solution of isolating Stitch and Lilo from their family would be, and bend the rules they are supposed to enforce to protect and support this weird found family instead of breaking it apart. Gantu and Myrtle are recognized for the assholes they are and face comeuppance in the form of comedic slapstick pratfalls. And most importantly, Stitch and Lilo both get the emotional support and understanding they need to thrive and live happy lives as children should be allowed to do. It's like poetry, it rhymes.

It's a very precise, smartly written movie. It's a delicate balancing act of tone and emotions, with a very strong theme about the need for family and understanding that hits children in their hearts and imaginations. It's extremely well structured.

...

So it'd be kind of colossally fucking stupid to remake it and start fucking around with the core structure of it, chopping out pieces and completely altering others, with no real purpose beyond "Well, the executives thought it might be better if we did this."

[amoressb]

───── NOT THE SAME 西村 力 N. RK

ꪆৎ ⋆˚࿔ after many efforts to bring back your old riki, for it to go back to how you two used to be, you walk away but he realizes it all too late..or is it? ｡｡ ɪᴅᴏʟ ʙꜰ!ʀɪᴋɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

MINOR ANGST TO FLUFF & wc. 1900 / make sure to read part 1 !! ｡｡

──── ARCHiVE

he doesn’t notice it at first. the silence.

he’s used to his phone buzzing constantly with notifications : rehearsal calls, staff messages, reminders. he doesn’t realize what’s missing until he opens his lunch one day and instinctively thinks to take a picture for you. to show you the mess of rice and eggs and the smiley face someone drew in ketchup on top, but when he opens your chat, there’s nothing new.

not even a heart emoji. not even a “have you eaten today, baby?”

it hits him then how quiet everything has become without you. his fingers hover over the keyboard, unsure. he types something. deletes it. types again.

hey.

can we talk?

it’s vague, useless and worst of all..late. still, he sends it. and when your reply doesn’t come, he doesn’t blame you.

it’s not that he stopped loving you. not ever.

he loved you when he was tired. he loved you when he didn’t have the words. he loved you through every missed good morning, every evening where he chose sleep over calling you, every time he told himself, “i’ll text her later,” and forgot.

but love without presence starts to feel like absence and you had felt it over and over again.

he thinks about that last night more than he’d admit.

the way your voice cracked. the way you looked down at the floor instead of him. the way you left. not angry, not screaming, just…defeated.

the truth is, that broke him more than any fight could have. because you were always the one who stayed. even when he made it hard. even when he didn’t deserve you. you stayed…until it was him you needed to be saved from.

“riki.”

he blinks up. it’s jake, crouched in front of him in the practice room. “you good?” jake asks. riki realizes his eyes are red. he rubs his sleeve across his face.

“i messed up.” jake tilts his head. “with y/n?”

riki doesn’t even need to answer. the guilt’s written all over him.

“i didn’t mean to push her away. i just…” he looks down. “i didn’t know how to hold everything. the schedules. the pressure. her. me.” jake’s voice is gentle. “then go remind her why she chose you in the first place.”

the next day, he goes to your campus.

he’s never been good at speeches. not the vulnerable kind at least, but this matters more than any performance he’s ever given. so he wears the hoodie you gave him, the one with the tiny “y/f/i” stitched on the cuff, and waits.

you appear like a breath he’s been holding. you look…tired. but you always do when you’re thinking hard. your brows drawn slightly together, hair falling into your eyes, thumb scrolling across your phone.

you don’t see him until he’s standing in front of you. your body goes still.

he lifts a hand, hesitant. “can i sit?” you nod slowly. no words yet. you don’t owe him those. the bench is cold beneath him. your silence colder.

he shifts a little, turning to face you more. “i’ve been thinking about what i said. or what i didn’t say.” you keep your gaze forward, expression unreadable.

“i think i convinced myself you’d always be there,” he admits. “that you’d wait. that i didn’t have to try.��

your fingers clutch your sleeve. he sees it. your knuckles white from holding yourself still.

“i was wrong,” he says. “and i’m sorry. not just for the words i didn’t say, but for every time i looked at my phone and didn’t answer. for every day you tried to love me while i was too scared to love you out loud.”

you finally look at him. he breaks a little when he sees your eyes, that familiar storm of hurt and hope behind them.

“i thought if i kept my distance, maybe i wouldn’t fall deeper,” he says. “but it just made me realize something worse : i’ve already fallen so deep into you, y/n. and pushing you away didn’t protect me. it only ruined the one good thing i had.”

you breathe out. “so why now?”

“because not having you is worse than anything I was afraid of.” he fumbles in his pocket and pulls something out. “and because i need you to see that i remember the little things, too.”

you look down at his hand.

a tiny lego minifigure sits in his palm.

it looks like him, down to the blonde hair, oversized pants and a tiny sign that says, “i love my girlfriend.”

your lip trembles. you cover your mouth, shaking your head with a breathy laugh. “you’re such a dork.”

he grins, hopeful. “you used to call me your ‘cutie patootie.’ i wanted to remind you that i’m still that guy.”

“i didn’t forget,” you say quietly. “i just thought maybe you did.”

his smile fades a little. he nods. “i did. for a while, but i remember now and i want to keep remembering. every day. every version of you, every small thing you love, and every hard thing you’re scared to say out loud.”

you’re quiet for a long time. he doesn’t push. he just watches you, gently, patiently, like he finally understands what it means to wait for someone with care.

you speak at last. “i don’t know if i’m ready to go back to how things were.”

“i don’t want to go back,” he says. “i want to start again. better. softer.”

your eyes meet his and for the first time in weeks, something in you starts to thaw. you reach over and take the lego from his hand. then, slowly, your fingers find his.

you lace them together. “i’ll give you a chance,” you whisper. “but you have to keep showing up. even when it’s hard. especially then.”

“i will,” he says, firm. “every day.”

you lean against his shoulder, just for a second. his hoodie smells like clean laundry and faint cologne. like comfort…like memory.

he turns his head, lips brushing your hair. “thank you,” he murmurs. “for not giving up on me. i’ll never make you feel alone again.”

and you believe him. because his time, he’s not saying it to fix things. he’s saying it to rebuild them.

that night, you lie next to each other again. not tangled up, not rushing. just close.

his pinky wraps around yours and when he finally drifts off to sleep with your name still on his lips, it feels like something is blooming again—slow and tender, but real. like love, the second time around.

bonus/extra

time skip : 3 weeks later

it’s different now. not perfect. not how it used to be. but that’s okay. because you’ve both stopped trying to go backward.

instead, you’re building something new, quietly, day by day.

riki shows up every time now. no matter how tired. no matter how long the rehearsals run. sometimes he just sits on facetime with you in silence, head drooping from exhaustion, but still there.

he sends you random updates again—a blurry photo of a ladybug on his shoe. a voice memo of sunghoon snoring on the couch. a video of him poking a lego keychain dangling from his bag that has your initial in your favorite color.

“i told the stylists i’m never taking it off,” he said in that clip, grinning. “so they’re just working around it now.”

you laughed when you saw it.

you haven’t said i love you again yet. neither has he but you’re getting close.

it’s a sunday when he asks if you want to come over.

“just for a little while,” he says. “the guys won’t be home. you hesitate..then nod.

when you arrive, he meets you downstairs. no one’s watching, but he still tucks you into his arms the moment you reach him—your face pressed into his hoodie, his arms wound tight around your waist like he’s afraid the wind might carry you away if he lets go.

“you okay?” he asks against your hair. you nod but when you whisper, “are you?” he pulls back enough to look at you.

his eyes are soft. no panic behind them anymore. just care. just you. “i am now,” he says.

the dorm is quiet. he makes you tea, the way you like it, with a little too much honey and no judgment.

you sit together on the couch, knees brushing. at some point, your head finds his shoulder. his hand finds your knee. it stays there, warm and gentle. it’s not rushed.

you talk about everything but the past. the cat that keeps showing up outside your apartment. the way jake cried watching a sad movie last night. a tiny crack in your phone screen that looks like a lightning bolt now.

you look at him. he’s watching you like you’re a painting.

“what?” you ask, self conscious. he shakes his head, smiling. “i just really missed your voice.” you blink slowly. “you’ve been hearing it every day.”

“yeah,” he says softly. “but today it sounds…happy.”

you don’t answer. instead, you reach for his hand. it’s such a simple gesture but his breath stutters. and then his fingers squeeze yours.

later, it’s raining. you curl up together under a blanket, legs tangled, his arm tucked under your neck. the television plays something mindless, but neither of you are really watching.

rikis hand is tracing slow, steady patterns on your arm. his pinky looping over and over a patch of skin just above your elbow. he’s been quiet for a while.

you shift slightly, look up at him.

“are you still scared?” you ask. his eyes meet yours. honest. a little vulnerable.

“yeah,” he admits. “every day but not the way i used to be.”

you wait. he exhales. “i’m not scared of losing you anymore. i’m scared of ever giving you a reason to feel that lonely again.”

you sit up, facing him. his eyes flick to your lips then back to your eyes.

you touch his cheek, brushing your thumb over the soft skin just under his eye. he leans into your palm—instinctive. needy.

“riki,” you whisper. “you’ve changed.”

“i’m still changing,” he says. “for you. for us.”

you stare at him a moment longer. he doesn’t rush you. he never does now. and then, slowly, you nod. “i trust you again.” he freezes.

his hand, still on your waist, tightens just slightly not possessive, just overwhelmed.

“say it again,” he murmurs, like he’s not sure he heard right.

you smile. “i trust you.” he breathes out shakily, eyes glassy. “that means more than i know how to say.”

“then don’t say anything,” you whisper.

he doesn’t. instead, he leans in, and this time…you meet him halfway.

the kiss is quiet, soft, reverent. it’s not rushed or hungry. it doesn’t taste like desperation. it tastes like peace.

like something broken being held carefully in two hands. not trying to erase the cracks, but tracing them gently, gratefully.

you both pull away slowly. his forehead rests against yours.

“i’m gonna keep earning that trust every day,” he whispers. “i know,” you say and this time, you believe it.

outside, the rain begins to let up. inside, you’re tangled up again. in warmth, in blankets, in each other.

he falls asleep before you do, breathing even and face buried in your neck. you just stay like that safe, loved…home again.

⋆｡°✩ @cheruphic @liwinly @chrrific @hyukabean @ijustwannareadstuff20 @jellyluv4eva @veilstqr @soona-huh @jenjnk @maewphoria @arimmortel @hyeitsrim @jayshadoww @monniemons @intravnus @yuuuraaa @rikifever @skyearby @polyanka777 @nikismyprincesses @danlovestay @firstclassjaylee @rikislady @kirakun

[evansbuckle]

Mechanic!Singledad!Bucky Barnes AU

woop woop part two is here. These two have been taking up my thoughts big time since part one, and im super excited about it! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!<3

wordcount: 2192

warnings: Bucky's a flirt, toddler has food on mouth, proofread but barely. Use of y/n, and reader has she/her pronouns.

masterlist part one part three

Grease, part two.

Saturdays were saved for two things - breakfast bagels and the dog park. The sizzle of bacon filled the small kitchen, as Cheryl napped on the sofa, gathering energy for her favourite time of the week. My bagel popped out of the toaster, and I constructed my sandwich to perfection, slapping some cheese on it, then leaving it in the oven a minute longer for the cheese to melt. I poured myself a coffee, grabbing my sandwich out the oven and sat down at the island, feet swinging as I listened to the radio.

I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way that Bucky looked at me, the way I wanted him to do more than look at me, since he left last night. Cheryl’s bark snapped me out of my thoughts and I knew she was getting restless, so I finished up breakfast and got my trainers on. 

I let Cheryl off her leash as she jogged around the park, keeping to herself, stopping to smell the grass every minute or so. I sat on a bench facing her, closing my eyes and letting the sun warm my face. I open my eyes again, taking in the sight of Cheryl basking in the sunlight, much like I’d just been doing, and a sense of gratitude filled my body.

“Y/n?” My heart picks up at the sound of the familiar voice saying my name, but I urge myself to calm down. I turn to look at him, but my eyes fall on Becky first, her blonde hair glowing in the sun much like a disney princesses’ would.

“Hi guys,” I wave to them, “what’re you doing here?”

“Watching the doggies! Sometimes one or two of them say hello to me. Daddy won’t get me a puppy.” The girl says, climbing onto the bench next to me, eyes saddened at the fact Bucky wouldn’t give into her whims. “Why are you sitting on your own?” she asks. Bucky looks like he’s exasperated, about to tell her there’s nothing wrong with sitting alone, but I don’t give him a chance.

“I’m not alone,” I tell her, “here with a special someone actually.” 

“A boyfriend!”

“What?” Bucky manages to croak out, squinting at me.

“What? No, not a boyfriend,” I laugh, calling over Cheryl, “dog.” I grab Cheryl by the collar, stopping her before she gets too close to Becky. “You can say hello. I know she’s big, and might look quite scary, but I promise she’s friendly.” Explaining that felt like wasted breath though, because the little girl wasted no time in lunging for the dog, scratching her ears and patting her head, giggling at the way the dog’s tongue sticks out. I look up at Bucky and we both laugh at the sight.

“She’s not scared of ‘em,” he starts to explain, “keeping her away from them is the issue. Every dog she sees is her new favourite, i swear.” I giggle at the thought of Becky running up to every puppy they pass on the sidewalk.

“How are you?” He asks, while his daughter is distracted, “sleep well?”

“Yeah fine, good. I don’t have work today, and the sun’s out so, dog park it was. How about you?”

“Good, yeah. Becky was gettin’ restless so I figured this would tire her out, except now she might end up stealing Cheryl.” He let out a dry chuckle, forcing himself to look away from y/n, which felt like going to war, especially when her laugh sounded like someone had opened the gates of heaven for him, just briefly.

I looked back at Becky then, a smile stuck on my face. “I wouldn’t mind to be honest. If she ever wants to borrow Cheryl she can. So what’s next for you guys?”

Bucky shrugs, running a hand through his hair, “lunch, then i’m dropping her at a friends house. I swear, she’s got more friends than I do. But yeah, I’ll probably just hang around at home while she’s there. Unless,” Bucky stops himself speaking, eyes catching mine. I wait for him to continue, not breaking the silence, “ah, unless you wanted to join us. I know Becky’d love to have you over, and I could do with company after she goes.”

“Yeah, yeah i think that would be nice actually. Maybe I’d get to make fun of your music taste now,” I giggle, “I can meet you guys at yours? I need to get Cheryl a sitter.” Bucky nods and gives me his address, i say goodbye to Becky and go back home. Getting Cheryl a sitter wasn’t as long as I made it out to be. I knew my neighbour would do it without hesitation, I just needed a moment. I looked in the mirror before getting my bag together. Jeans and a white blouse would have to do, I didn’t want to risk getting changed and make the wrong impression, but then, what were the chances he’d notice? I packed my bag and left.

*

Twenty minutes later, i stand outside a modest little bungalow. I know it’s right because Bucky’s jeep is parked up outside, and there’s a pink kids car parked up next to it. I take a breath and ring the doorbell.

“Y/n!” A little voice calls out as the door opens, welcoming me inside. It’s warm inside, in every sense of the word. I walk through to the living room, the green walls covered in pictures, drawings, certificates. The archway into the kitchen was home to a height chart, done in different colours for each age. Bucky stands over the stove, his broad back facing us as Becky walks me through the rest of the place.

“You have a beautiful home Bucky,” i startle him, stifling a laugh at the way he jumps at the sound of my voice, “it’s so-”

“Small?”

“Charming.”

I walk over to a shelf in the living room, mostly filled with framed photos of Becky with various family members. There’s one of her and Bucky with two older people.

“My parents,” he stands behind me, his chest not quite touching my back but i can feel him, his warmth, his cologne. “it was the last time we saw them.” My heart sinks at the words, knowing it can’t be easy for him to see that everyday. “Don’t look so sad,” his hands rest on my upper arms, squeezing softly, “it was a good day. Now come on, lunch is ready.” He moves us so i’m in front of him, but his hands don’t leave my body as he guides me into the kitchen, seating me at the table before getting Becky. 

“y/n?” Becky says from her seat, bits of sauce on her mouth still, “can i ask you a question?” I nod at her, my own mouth full.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

I choke on the chicken in my mouth, hearing Bucky laugh. I threw my napkin at his face while he just smirked to me and I turned back to the girl. “I don’t know, guess I just haven’t met the right man.” She nods her little head, and I could physically feel the cogs turning in her brain. 

“But you’re pretty.”

Bucky interjects now, “she is, but not all pretty people have partners, plum. Not all people even want partners. Now, wipe your mouth please, otherwise no friends today.” That appeases her, as she wipes at her mouth feverishly. I can’t focus on much but the blush that’s inevitably creeping up my face at his compliment. He gathers our plates, setting them in the dishwasher before getting Becky ready and dropping her off. 

I stay behind while he does, taking time to poke around a little. I glanced into Becky’s room first, almost blinded by the pink walls and purple carpet, the room littered with stuffed animals. I peek into Bucky’s bedroom next, the place a complete contrast from his daughter’s. Almost bare save from a bed, a nightstand, and a modest pile of books on his dresser. Had it been anyone else’s room it would’ve looked incomplete, but it made sense for Bucky.

“Snooping?” 

I whip my body round, colliding with a hard figure, not expecting him to be stood so close. He laughs at me, “s’alright you can look.” He walks into the room first, opening the door wider. 

“You don’t have much.”

“Don’t need much.” I nod at his response, looking at the books. It’s the entire Lord of the Rings series, with the spines worn and pages all dog-eared and bent.

“Didn’t really take you for a nerd.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know, darlin,” he nods to the door, “come on.”

He leads us into the living room, passing me a beer before sitting down on the sofa next to me, flicking through the television. He lands on some old detective movie. 

“First fantasy books, now noir movies? What next?” 

 “Guess you’ll have to stick around and find out, huh?” He smirks at me, taking a sip of his drink. “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it with the Barnes’ and asking questions?” I joke, trying to ignore the heat creeping through my body.

“Well, it’s actually the same question. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

I shake my head a little bit, trying to gather my thoughts. “I don’t know, I guess I’m not really the pursuing type.” 

“What do you mean?”

“No-one really approaches me, y’know? But i’m too stubborn to pursue people either, so being single seems easier.”

He grunts in response, “they’re stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“The people,” he vaguely gestures at the air, eyes burning into mine, “the ones not approaching you? They’re stupid.” I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything, just look at him as I take another sip of my drink.

“I mean it, y/n,” his hand hesitates before it moves to my face, pushing some hair out of my face before resting on my jaw, calloused thumb tracing softly over my burning cheek. “You’re real warm, sugar.” His body leans closer, the movement almost imperceptible. 

“Yeah, it’s uhm, it’s warm, today” I stutter through my sentence, not daring to move. He chuckles, his voice rough, as he moves his hand and leans back against the couch. It takes everything in me to not grab his hand and bring it back to me. 

“How’s the car?” I ask, trying to cut through the silence that rested between us now.

“Your brake belt is replaced. Just waiting on the engine to arrive tomorrow, or day after, can’t remember. Then I’ll change it for ya, should take maybe a day or two.”

“You sound like you know what you’re doing.”

“I have to know what I’m doing, sugar, otherwise I’d be a lousy mechanic don’t you think?”

“Yeah you’re right. Can I come by?”

“You are by.”

I purse my lips, “not your house, Barnes, the garage.”

“Why? Wanna see me all greased and sweaty?” He winks at me, and if I didn’t know better i’d think he was making me blush on purpose.

“No! I’m just curious to see how it all works.”

“Yeah, course you can. I'll let you know when the engine’s here. Not much action for you to see before then.”

I nod, letting quiet grow over us again. I try to keep focused on the telly, but it’s hard when his thigh is resting against mine, and his right arm is thrown over the back of the sofa, playing with a strand of my hair. I can feel his stare on the side of my head, so i turn to face him.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No, I was just thinking,” he takes a breath, turning to me, “I like spending time with you. I don’t really know how we got… here. But I like it.”

“I like it too, Bucky.” My voice now is just louder than a whisper. There’s something quaint about this moment that I don’t dare break. I could see his brain working overtime, and his mouth open and close, sort of like a fish.

“Wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?”

“Sorry? You’re gonna have to say that slower, please”

“Would you like to go on a date with me? Please?”

I take in the man sitting beside me, his hands in his lap, thumbs twiddling. His face is reddened, but only a little.

“Yeah.”

“Wait what?” He does a double-take at me, eyes wide like he’d expected me to laugh at the thought.

I laughed at him then, “I would like to go on a date with you Bucky.” He nods slowly, like the words are just sinking in.

“How about Monday? I’ll text you the time, come pick you up?”

“Monday it is then.” 

Bucky’s phone rings then, he swears lightly as he reaches for it. He says all of three words before hanging up.

“‘M sorry, sugar, I need to go get Becky.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you on Monday.” I join him in standing up, leaning up on my tiptoes to softly peck his cheek before waving bye, and going home.

[florencebirdsong]

Pipette Visit

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Summary: You’ve stolen the good pipettes. Professor Harkness interrupts your office hours to convince you to give them back.

Tags: professors, lowkey hate sex, fingering

No pronouns used to refer to Reader. Reader is wearing nondescript pants.

Words: 715

ao3 | masterlist

You’re marking lab reports in your office when Professor Harkness slams open the door.

“You stole the good pipettes,” she says, allowing the door to slam just as loudly closed behind her.

“Did I?” you ask disinterestedly. You write a question mark on the report in front of you. Professor Harkness stalks around your desk and swings your chair around to face her. “I didn’t take them,” you sigh, “And I have a million reports to mark so if you could turn me back around?”

“I know you took them. You’re the only one stupid enough to.”

“You’re the one obsessed with them, Harkness.”

“Says the professor I caught sneaking them out of my laboratory.”

She did find you stealing them. She then proceeded to fuck you instead of just taking them. 

“Feel free to check my lab.”

“I don’t need to check what I already know.” She leans both hands on the arms of your chair. “Give them to me.”

“No,” you say. Partly because they are the best pipette set in the department and partly to piss her off. She’s hot when she’s pissed off.

“Fine.”She swipes the reports off of your desk.

“Rude.” She manhandles you onto it and you’re suddenly feeling a lot less defiant. “Giving me what I want right off the bat isn’t the smartest way to go about this,” you observe.

Professor Harkness snorts derisively. “You can get any whore to fuck you.” She yanks your belt off and shoves done your pants. You lift yourself up to help get them past your thighs. “I’m the only one who can make you come hard enough to pass out.” She shoves two fingers inside of you without preamble. You’re soaked. They glide in easily. 

She knows exactly where that special spot inside of you is and she curls her fingers to hit it.

“Fuck,” you gasp and hold onto the edge of the desk. She goes quiet as she concentrates on working you up. Her movements harsh and demanding. You can’t do anything but take it.

“Give them to me and I’ll let you come,” she says, her lips brushing your cheek.

“I can come by myself.” Your defiant words are weakened by the pitch of your voice.

“Not like this,” Professor Harkness says, all confidence and earned ego. She’s right. No matter what you do or what toy you use you never come like you do under her hands. 

The thought of denying her never crosses your mind. The one time you called her bluff she left you empty and aching for weeks. Still, it’s hard to give in.

“Almost there,” she taunts, her fingers curling.

You have to choose soon or she’ll choose for you. You hold out until her fingers starts to slow. The idea of her pulling out with you so close is agonising.

“Second drawer,” you moan. Agatha pauses and a pathetic, needy sound escapes your throat. She quirks an eyebrow, asking if you’re serious. You don’t have enough wits to respond. She begins to draw away and you latch onto her wrist. She clicks her tongue but doesn’t pull back, instead leaning over and pulling the drawer open. The pipettes sit right on top of the folders filling the rest of the drawer.

“Check your lab my ass,” she mutters, more amused than annoyed. She plonks them down on the desk next to you, which would normally infuriated you with how obsessed with them she is. Right now you can’t think past your aching cunt. “Well, a deal’s a deal.”

The almost careless way she says it stops your slow brain from processing what she means until her fingers are hitting that spongy spot inside of you. She rubs harsh circles on your clit at the same time. 

You come embarrassingly fast with a high-pitched noise. Your nails biting into the wood of your desk. Professor Harkness pulls out the second your shoulders relax. You barely have the wherewithal to hold yourself up as she collects the pipettes. There’s no time to gather your thoughts for a last, departing barb. She’s already walking away.

“A pleasure as always,” she says. You can hear the smirk in her voice. She waves over her shoulder as she walks out the door. Her fingers glisten.

End note:

Here's a cut snippet that I like enough to share :) 

She yanks you up and out of your seat. She kicks the chair out of the way then pushes you against your desk. You always forget how strong she is. “Give them back and I’ll fuck you.” You’ll fuck me anyway, is on the tip of your tongue but that may piss her off enough for her not to.

[the-kr8tor]

Ekko's Birthday

Pairing: Ekko x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.8k

Synopsis: You decide to surprise Ekko for his birthday.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, reader has nicknames, reader has unnamed family members, noxian! Reader, established relationship, set in my series ink and bedrock, s2 spoilers, cw food mentions, one suggestive joke, lovestruck! Ekko, fluff!

A/N: this is a few days late but happy birthday to the boy saviour! 🎂🎉 Special thanks to @pleaktale

Ekko Masterlist

Navigation

“Ekko.”

He stirs in his sleep, feeling a warm palm gently tracing his jawline. The touch is as light as a feather, pinky running along his skin like summer raindrops raining down upon him.

“Ekko, come on, firefly, wake up.” Your voice whispers in his ear, breath fanning along his cheek. “Please? This is the only time today that I’ll have you all to myself. Ekko.” You say with a lilt, singing his name like it's a ballad.

Turning towards you, bed dipping down slightly, he nudges his way onto your lap, head resting comfortably atop your thighs and face flushed against your stomach as if he's attuned to your warmth. He feels your hand carefully move away strands of his platinum twists, then you slither towards his scruff, kneading along the back of his head. He could get used to this, perhaps he already has when you keep spoiling him rotten. He always wakes up to your soft voice and even softer touch, to him that's paradise.

Humming against you, face pressed into the plush of your stomach, he wraps an arm around you, clinging onto you in his half asleep state.

“How long have you been awake?” He tiredly asks, fighting a yawn.

“A while.” Chuckling, you place an affectionate kiss right atop his temple even though you might get a knot on the small of your back from the twisted position. “Did you forget what day it is today?”

Ekko inhales the morning air, body clock telling him that you let him oversleep. The fact that he could even afford to sleep more when no explosions wrack him awake, or alarms in his head that are constantly going off— It's pure bliss for him. He can do that now, rest, now that the undercity is doing a lot better than three years ago. Even the air smells crisp and fresher, unlike before when he would take a deep inhale, he gets a lung full of smoke and gunpowder. Zaun and its people are better, there’s still a lot more work to be done, but it’s beginning to look and feel like the Zaun he saw once upon a lifetime ago.

And then there’s you, patient and kind towards his people. You who have made a name for yourself with just your pen and gentle words. Even managed to change the two cities for the better with your work. In their eyes, you're no longer the volatile Noxian they thought you were. You could still be explosive, yes, but you never act without thinking twice, without thinking how it would impact the people around you, and your new found home. You've managed to slink your way into his stone clad heart, chiseled your way inside, and he let you stay there, made a home for yourself in there, painted the walls for you, made furniture for you to rest on— and he wouldn't have it any other way.

All those years of surviving is worth it to see the day that he could just… live.

“Is it…” Ekko croaks out, throat heavy with sleep as he bunches your blouse in his grip. “...Is it soup day in the canteen?”

“Soup day?” Leaning down and giggling, you kiss every inch of the side of his face, making sure that there’s no skin left unkissed. “No,” you tamp down your bout of giggles as you kiss the corner of his sleep ridden eye. “Even better.”

Ekko cracks one eye open, honeyed brown eyes staring half lidded at you. It’s as if the prospect of the day not being about soup intrigued him. “I give up, what day is it?”

Your fond smile slowly stretches into a grin. “It's your birthday.”

He's taken aback, leaning slightly away from you as his eyes narrow suspiciously. “How'd you know that?”

You clearly find him adorable when you nudge your nose atop his own. “I asked…around.”

“Scar told you, didn't he?”

“Maybeee.” Your giggles waft over him.

“And you bribed him for it?” His eyes shine with amusement whilst you try to act innocent by rubbing off the crust gathered in the corner of his eye.

“He may or may not have a whole box of cookies all to himself.” You beam down at Ekko, hand kneading at his skin fondly, trying to flatten the knots in his tired muscles. He looks at you so sweetly that it could rival any type of sweets you made as a bargaining chip. “Happy birthday, Ekko.”

For the first time in a long time, he really thinks that the occasion is a happy one. And not something he feels guilty from, guilty that he got to live and they didn't, guilty that he's older than them now. The reason isn't solely because of you and your love for him, but it’s because the world around him feels brighter now, lighter, that it doesn't weigh over his shoulder like a boulder. His firelights are happier, some even deciding to settle down because of how better the world has become for them, something that they only dreamed of that they can now give their children— A future, Ekko looks forward to the future rather than trying to escape from it, delay it and sometimes even fear it. Now he looks forward to it, wanting to see what his city would look like, desiring to see where you and him would be in the future. The mystery of it all excites him rather than something to be feared. It's no longer bleak in his warm eyes. All he knows is that waking up to you every morning is guaranteed in the future. And he can't wait for the rest.

“Thank you,” hand reaching up to cup your cheek, he tugs you down for a quick yet loving kiss. “Does this mean I get something?”

Scrunching your nose, you pretend to think. “Hm, you tell me.”

Ekko knows you enough that this is one of your teasing games. He decides to play along, but this time, he doesn't flirt back to get you flustered enough that you soon admit defeat, no, he’ll play his cards right, and in his hand is the birthday card that he knows you'll fall for immediately.

“But it’s my birthday...” His tone turns small, broken, as if you punched his precious hoverboard and threw it into the river. To add salt to your wound, Ekko frowns, eyes downturned.

“Ekko…” you coo, mirroring his frown, but in your case, it’s real. “I do have something for you.” You say the words like you're trying to placate him by giving him a consolation prize. “I'm sorry, I did prepare something for you.” Kissing his cheek, you feel his growing grin under your puckered lips. As you move away, he smiles victoriously. “You little shit!”

“You can't call me that, it's my birthday.”

“Birthday or not, you still played me.” Poking his chest, he chuckles and grabs your finger before taking your palm in his and sewing his hand around your own lovingly. “You’re trying to be sweet on me.” It’s your turn to look at him suspiciously.

“Is it working?” Bringing the intertwined hands to his lips, he kisses your knuckles, pecking gently whilst he gazes at you through half lidded eyes.

You know that he's always been a charmer, under the leader side he always shows, and the almost permanent frown on his lips, his sweetness goes beyond anyone you could compare it to. Not even you managed to fight it whenever he gives you his best smile or when he touches the small of your back whenever he passes by you with his firelights, leaving you frozen in place even if it's such a simple action. But it's enough to have you, a tough Noxian, to melt into a puddle.

Shaking your head, you tug at the hem of his shirt. “Don’t test me, Ekko.” Despite your words, the way you gaze at him defeats the purpose of your so-called threat.

“So it's working then?” He raises a brow, palm splayed on the small of your back, thumb drawing circles around where your shirt lifted up slightly.

“Do you want your present or not?”

“I don't see a box anywhere, red, are you the present?” His lips curl into a knowing smirk, eyes glinting with mirth.

Biting your lip with a tamped down flustered chuckle, you pinch his side lightly. “Maybe for later, but for now…” taking the box you've hidden beneath the bed, you finally show it to him with hidden shyness. “For you, firefly.”

Ekko sits up, his hand never leaving the expanse of your skin as he eyes the neatly wrapped gift. The box is in deep forest green, all wrapped together with a crimson ribbon. The symbolism isn't lost to him, it makes his heart sing for a moment.

“Shit, I was just joking, you know?” He only reaches for the gift, and it takes for you to place it in his hand rather than wait for him to take it. The box is small, it fits right in his palm perfectly.

“It's your birthday, of course I got you something.”

“You shouldn't have, you being here is enough.”

Grinning, the warmth from your smile is enough to rival the morning sun. “Well you should've told me that before I went out of my way to get you that.” Joking, you tap the gift nervously as he chuckles. “Please open it before I burst a vein.”

“Can I guess?” He delays the moment so that he could savour your rare bout of bashfulness.

“It’s not food.”

“I wasn't going to guess that.” As he gently unties the ribbon, you watch with a wobbly grin.

“Yes, you were.” Your words fade out as he unboxes the gift, revealing the present you've been preparing for weeks.

His eyes blink at the metal work, it's a clockface intended for his stop watch. The circular metal is laid upon a piece of silky cloth, and its intricate etching of a map of Zaun faces him. He's too afraid to touch it, as if it'll crumble in his hand.

“Shit, you don't like it.” You take his silence as something negative. “I knew I should've gotten you a—” His lips silences you, kissing along the curve of your mouth, nose nudging together, and a hand cupping your chin.

His lips part just a smidge, and you take his invitation, kissing deeper and deeper until you're tugged atop his lap, head tilted so he could kiss you properly. If not for your need for air, you'd kiss him for hours.

As you reluctantly pull away, you look into his brown eyes, and briefly glance down at his kiss bitten lips. “I don't think you got your point across, Ekko. Tell me more about how much you like it.”

Chuckling, he runs his thumb across your lips to wipe away the sheen left by him. “I could, but maybe later.” Teasing to keep you on your toes, you roll your eyes and drop your head atop his shoulder like you're disappointed so you could hide your obvious giddyness. “Stop being a baby, I love your gift.”

“I know.” You peck the side of his neck briefly before returning to face him. “But that's just half of it though.”

Ekko gazes at you through tender eyes that's slightly glazed over by a fog of deep affection for you. “There's more?”

“Mm-hmm, flip it over.”

He does what you've instructed him to do, with his free hand on the small of your back, keeping you in place and the other gingerly flipping the gift over, he sees a small yet intricate carving of a portrait of you and him smiling together. If that's not enough to have his heart squeezing in place, the small message above it would.

“‘I’m always just four seconds away from you, firefly.’” He reads, each word uttered fills his whole body with warmth. He's loved, he knows that, but not up to this degree. You revere him, love him through and through, and the thought of you being by his side— thinking of him, even when you're miles away from him, has tears almost falling from his eyes.

“It clips right on top of your watch, to protect it.” You whisper, hand resting on his nape. “I love you, happy birthday.”

Ekko falls right atop your chest, inhaling deeply, arms wrapped around you as his cheek presses on your clavicle. He utters the same three words with softness and with so much love that you could feel it through your skin and under your bones.

With your eyes closed, you start to sing him a Noxian birthday song in an unknown language to him. All the while you cradle him in place, gently swaying to your song. To you, the song fills you with comfort, it reminds you of peace back home and of your childhood.

To him, it reminds him of you. The hauntingly beautiful song will forever be etched in his mind as yours.

As you finish the quick song, you smile against his temple, and you feel him softly smile back.

“What was that?” Ekko asks, eyes shining as he peers through his lashes to gaze at you.

“A song from my country, my mother used to sing that to me and my brother during our birthdays.” You smile fondly at the memory. “It's basically just a happy birthday song.”

“It's beautiful.” He sighs out, thumb running across your cheek.

Smiling, your cheeks run warmer at his compliment. “And here I thought a big cake would be enough.” You mumble as he mindlessly runs his index across your clavicle, tracing small circles around your skin.

“You got me cake?” He asks, hand still grasping the watch cover as he smiles at the tiny portrait.

“Of course, what am I, an idiot?”

“Only sometimes.” He jokingly says as you snort.

“I'll let that slide since it's your birthday.” Leaning away, hands cupping his cheek, you gaze at his blissful face. “Do you want to put that on your watch now?” You gesture towards the gift that's safely tucked in his hand.

“Yeah,” nodding, you take his stopwatch from the bedside table. Ekko tinkers with them for a minute, until there's a metallic click as the present secures in place. The map of Zaun faces him, but when he opens the watch, it's you and him that greets him along with the ticking watch. “It's perfect.”

“Yeah?” You sigh in relief, and he nods again, this time with a grin. “That’s good.” Chuckling with unshed tears in your eyes, you peck his jaw. “There's more to this though.”

“I'm guessing that's the cake?”

“Yes, but you have to get dressed for it.”

His nose scrunches. “But that's the opposite of what you usually ask for?”

A loud guffaw echoes around the room. “Not always! You make me sound like I'm a fiend!” Ekko tilts his head and raises a brow. “...fine, I am but not today! Please, I promised them that you'll be down in a minute. And it's been…” you glance at the clock. “...More than a minute.”

“Who's them?”

—

“Surprise!”

The firelights and members of the commune yell out simultaneously the moment Ekko steps off his hoverboard. They throw colourful confetti at him, pieces of paper sticking to his hair as they smile happily at them.

He can't help but match their expressions.

“Happy birthday, boss.” Scar says, giving him a curt nod as he clasps his shoulder.

“Yeah, happy birthday, boss!” Scar’s kid echoes his father's words, trying to clasp him on his shoulder with his shorter arm while he's in his father's arms.

“Thank you.” Ekko's heart swells at the sight. There are streamers hanging above the string lights, it flutters with the wind and the fallen gingko leaves.

The crowd parts for him, and the sun shines on a long table spread out with tons of food, most of them are sweets, probably a courtesy of you. And there are benches all around it, waiting for him and the firelights.

Eyes shining under the sun, he looks for you behind him. He didn't know the day could get any better than this, but it has when you're carrying the biggest cake he has ever seen. He's more entranced by the one holding it though, but the cake is a bonus.

“Come on and make a wish.”

Stepping closer, hands holding on top of yours, the two of you hold the cake as a single lit candle is placed right in the middle of the fluffy light viridescent cake.

“I already have my wish right here.” He whispers only to you before blowing out his candle.

The round of applause and ecstatic cheers echo around the clearing. If he could turn back time further, he would tell his younger self that it's worth it, that one day all the fighting and surviving would be worth it. Just for this moment, his family are finally happy, and the air smells sweet but the smile on his love is even sweeter.

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

[razorblade180]

9 Days of Lancaster Day 7: Only One Bed

Jaune:Ruby? You have a moment where deep in your bones you feel the need to prove yourself right? Not by doing something, but simply saying something? *rings bell*

Ruby:Don’t do this right now. *rings bell*

Jaune:Like convincing a friend not to to eat sketchy food or ya know…avoid a fight on a flying grimm? *rings bell*

Ruby:Can’t say I have those feelings. I do however feel motivated to constantly push myself. Recently I went so fast I caught a friend who was falling really fast. You should’ve been there. Oh wait…

She went to ring the bell again and hit nothing but wood as the bell was snatched up. A slighty annoyed and drowsy innkeeper looked at the two youngster who were covered in black feathers and damp clothes from the chaotic weather. Her gaze softened after assessing the situation.

Innkeeper:Huntsmen I take it? Must be rookies. Lots of steep cliffs around here. Makes nighttime really dangerous.

Jaune:Yeah we…actually started a job during the day. Things got a little…steep.

Ruby:And avian.

Innkeeper:Ah. Yeah we’ve been having a Nevermore issue around the area. Although if I remember correctly, a request and location of the nest has been posted. It’s a little ways away. More than simple walk here. How-

Ruby:Do you two rooms, please?

Innkeeper:Okay, okay. Sorry. *stretches* Late night encounters tend to have fascinating stories is all. It also means most places are booked. *looks at log*

Jaune:Yeah this is uhhh, our third inn attempt.

Ruby:Don’t tell her that!

Innkeeper:Hehehe, it’s alright. No offense taken. This place gets many people passing through. Even my humble abode gets her fair share. Like tonight. I can’t do two rooms, but there’s one left. Is that alright?

Ruby:It’s perfect! Thank you so much!

Innkeeper:*hands over key* Last room on the right. If yall stay around long enough tomorrow, free breakfast is an option. A courtesy to those in your profession.

Jaune:No wonder you see your fair share.

Innkeeper:Now you’re catching on. Enjoy your stay.

The security of a place to stay for the night cut all the tension in Ruby’s. She practically deflated as a long sigh left her body. Jaune came up from behind and started rubbing her shoulders gently. Looks like the tension between them was cut too.

Jaune:Sorry for getting on your case.

Ruby:No, it was mildly deserved. Do you think the others are okay?

Jaune:Considering we were the only ones that got yoinked into the sky and flown like a stork delivering children, yeah I’m sure they’re fine with all our things. Thank you, by the way. My landing could’ve been rough.

Ruby:I’ll rush to you any day of the week. At least we found shelter before the storm really picked up. Let’s get some sleep. What’s that saying you like?

Jaune:Tomorrow is a new day!

xxxxxx

It only took ten minutes before the trails of the night continued. They were thankful for the one room. It was actually rather nice. Just…they weren’t expecting the single bed that was easily smaller than the ones at Beacon by a fair amount.

Ruby:….That breakfast better be delicious.

Jaune:Take the bed. I can handle the floor.

Ruby:What? No way.

Jaune:*red* We can’t both fit.

Ruby:It’s not that small! It’s like a twin size. *red* We just can’t spread out much.

Jaune:I’m fine if you take it. I only need a sheet and a- a..achoo!

Ruby:Jaune, I’m not letting you sleep on the wooden floor of a chilly room after a long mission. You’ll get sick, or feel like shit tomorrow. I was being optimistic a moment ago. I don’t think that breakfast is gonna do much. It might be a small.

Jaune:*red* Are you sure?

Ruby:I saved your life today. You’ve saved my life before. Grabbing hold of each other and being incredibly close is a consistent thing for us. Sharing a bed is child’s play.

Jaune:You have a point….

Ruby:Yep! Don’t overthink it. *looks at bed* Hmmm, I’ll take the end closer to the wall. It’ll give you a bit more room. Huh, never thought I’d be glad to be so small. *turns head* Fair warning, I sn- eep!

Her heart nearly fell into her stomach as she gasped. Now she wasn’t expecting Jaune to sleep in his armor. That would be ridiculous. However, the last thing she expected to see when she turned around was him completely shirtless and his hands loosening his belt. Never has her face turned red so quickly.

Ruby:Why are you stripping?

Jaune:Because are clothes are we- were you going to sleep in wet clothes?

Ruby:I mean…they aren’t that wet.

Jaune:You literally just brought up how I could get sick on the floor, but you were going to take the bed in soaked clothes!?

Ruby:Listen, I may have overlooked the scope of this.

Jaune:I’ll take the floor.

Ruby:No! Stop it! *points at him* None of that. It doesn’t solve anything. We’re getting in this bed. And…yeah. I mean I can at least keep my hood on.

Jaune:That hood is currently the closest thing to a wet blanket until it gets on the bed.

Ruby:It’s not that wet. Look.

She wrings out the edge of it. Visible water drips out continuously…Silence steals the room again and Ruby lets out another sigh of defeat.

Without a word, Jaune turns around, giving Ruby all the time needed to disrobe and crawl under the covers. Logical or not, even he couldn’t help but turn red hearing clothes repeatedly hit the ground. He eventually heard footsteps move to the mattress and get in bed. Jaune continued taking off his pants, assuming Ruby was facing the wall now.

Once his boxers remained he turned around to see she was infact looking at the wall closest to her. He kinda wanted to snicker at the awkwardness of it all. Somehow Ruby made it cute. Jaune finally joined her in bed, his back against hers. The bed truly didn’t much space. Worst part, the chill and need for warmth made sure his limbs stayed under the covers.

Jaune:….

Ruby:….Please tell me your underwear is on?

Jaune:We got wet but not that wet. Of course.

Ruby:Cool. Cool…

Jaune:Is…yours on? (Why am I asking?)

Ruby:Pfft, duh. I mean…the bottoms are at least.

Jaune:*crimson* Ruby-

Ruby:You have seven sisters. You know for certain no girl is sleeping in a bra! Besides, it was kinda wet…

Jaune:Fair enough…

Raindrops, ticking clocks, and silence. It’s a perfect recipe for sleep. At least it would be if awkward didn’t come before silence. Every slight shift caused a small reaction from the opposite person; constant little shifts due to flinches or chills from a draft that seemed to attack Ruby specifically. Looks like the far end of the bed wasn’t as cozy as it looked. This went on for at least half an hour.

Jaune:..Still awake?

Ruby:Wide awake. I’m sorry.

Jaune:For what?

Ruby:This was kinda my idea. Not exactly showing the confidence in it.

Jaune:That’s normal. Don’t apologize for anything. Situations happen, and we do what we can. Plus we both get weird about normal things. This makes sense.

Ruby:It really shouldn’t feel as awkward as it does. I trust you with my life without question. You know that.

Jaune:Same. Even so, trusting me with your life doesn’t necessarily mean you trust me with your body. There’s differences.

Ruby:That makes sense I guess. I can see that being the case for some people. This is a new situation. I do though, by the way.

Jaune:Do what?

Ruby:*red* My body. I trust you. There’s no difference in my head. Just thought you should know.

Jaune:Oh. Thanks, I feel the same. I’d trust you. I am trusting you.

Ruby:*tugs cover closer* Cool. That means a lot.

Jaune:Are you still shivering?

Ruby:I wish I could shoot this draft.

Jaune:…Rubes, turn around. I can help.

Ruby paused for moment before taking a calming breath as she turned around. After she did, Jaune turned to face her. She already understood the solution. Her heart began beating like a drum as she felt his arms hold her closer for warmth. Any space they had was gone. Her body simply pressed against his, finally gaining a warmth that removed the goosebumps on her limbs now that they were tangled together with his.

Jaune looked down to see a face as red as his looking back at him. Beautiful pools of silver kept his embrace strong.

Jaune:Warmer.

Ruby:Much warmer. Thanks.

Jaune:Now I’ve rescued you from a draft. Maybe there really aren’t that many differences in our protections?

Ruby:Heh, told ya. One and the same for me. I know I’m in good hands. Literally in this case. Although if I’m being honest… sleeping is the furthest thing from my mind right now.

Jaune:*red* And the closest thing?

Ruby:Umm….

Jaune:S-Sorry. I don’t know why I asked that. Forget I-

Ruby:No. I…I don’t want to forget any of this. No matter what happens. Like I said, I trust you. So….if you have any suggestions on how we could get some sleep for tomorrow…

Was this too much? Did he feel the same, or at least think it? Ruby wouldn’t be surprised if steam left her ears at this point. Blue eyes never shied away from her. The smooth and gentle rubbing on her lower back only brought her closer than she thought possible at the beginning of this night. Suddenly the bed didn’t feel small anymore; not when Ruby decided to give Jaune all the room he could while she settled for laying on top of him. His breathing tickled her nose. Both her hands warmed her fingers through his hair while her own breathing slowly matched his.

The rain and ticking persisted. Not to mention the silence. However, awkward left the room. Tension might’ve entered again if it wasn’t for Ruby lowering her head, and trusting the her partner below with everything; just like she always did. Only now, that trust had a flavor and new warmth. One they explored together. Just like they did with many other things in their life.

xxxxxxx

Weiss:AH HA! THERE YOU ARE!

The equally worried and frustrated heiress points at her missing friends for the others to see. The fearless leaders everyone was worried about were on a patio eating french toast!? Ruby blissfully took another bite, not letting the sudden noise ruin the morning vibe.

Ruby:Oh hey.

Weiss: “Oh hey!?” Did you hit your head getting down from the Nevermore!? We were worried sick about you!

Ruby:I was the one stuck with the healer. Plus I pinged our location. French toast?

Weiss:No!

Yang and Nora:Yes! *sits down*

Jaune:Is the nest gone?

Ren:No. We did a number on it, but quickly changed priorities when you two flew away. Then the storm held us up.

Nora:I tried changing the weather for you guys.

Blake:I stopped her before every lightning bolt found us.

Yang:I had faith.

Jaune:In Nora changing the weather, or in us?

Yang:Both. Syrup please!

Ruby:*slides it* Well I’m glad you all made it here! This place is nice. Take a load off. We’ll all rest for today and head on back tomorrow to finish the job no problem.

Weiss:…You’re awfully calm; even by your morning standards. Are you sure you’re not concussed?

Ruby:Weiss, yesterday was a long walk in rain after a long fall. I’m just happy we found an inn. I need the rest. My legs are kinda done. I don’t think I can run if I wanted to, hehe.

Jaune:*red*….

Yang:Well I for one don’t mind the break. I’m tired of camping. I could use an inn.

Weiss:Are the beds nice at least?

Jaune and Ruby:Cozy.

[ivyheaven]

"I'm really sorry," apologies were popular today, but being right next to him and being unable to do much for him, only left apologies. She wiped away as much as she could but hearing him groan in pain made her hesitant to continue. Laurel didn't understand his aversion with doctors, and while she usually wouldn't push it, she couldn't stand seeing him in pain.

The thought of calling his family, frankly, terrified her. Even more so knowing she had never interacted with them, compounded with the fact that she had inadvertently brought him so much trouble. But, Eli spoke up and surprised her. "Inez, okay yes." She nodded slowly, hoping that meant she'd be easier to talk to. Seeing his eyes fill with tears, she wiped them away with her index finger. "I will tell her, she knows you wouldn't forget. Mhm," a soft nod to confirm. "Of course, if she'd let me, I'll try my best with bedtime stories." Singing, it didn't feel too relevant right now, but the reminder to keep him awake rang in her ears. "I..well, I'm not winning awards for my singing anytime soon, but I can always try. No, it's not don't worry." Not the complete truth, but he just wasn't budging.

"I believe you, I do, and you don't need to tell me why. If this wasn't absolutely necessary, I wouldn't push, but I just want to be sure you're okay." She took his hand once more and pressed a small kiss to his palm. "Of course, I'm here as long as you want me." Truer words couldn't be said, even if the prospect of him not wanting her haunted her mind already.

Listening to him talk about his family only scared her further, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded along. She would do as he asked. Besides, he needed his family here. They could do so much more for him. "No, hey babe come on. Stay with me, not time to sleep yet," she was trying to keep her tone calm and soft, but firm so he didn't doze off on her. Thankfully, he couldn't see just how her hand trembled as she held his phone in her hands.

The knock at the door startled her, the phone almost falling from her hand, but one upside? It was very effective in waking him up. Eric, she couldn't thank her lucky stars enough! "This is great Eric, thank you so much," she felt Eli pull away slightly as he tried moving away and sinking into his pillow further. Still, the friend Eric brought was quick to take over and begin examining him. The frown on his face was not very promising. The grip of her hand caught her off guard, but it was just a natural state now - to be jumpy. She nodded very quickly and dialed. “I’ll get her here myself. You don’t worry about that.”

The phone only rang once before it was swiftly picked up. "Inez?" The foreign voice confused Inez, this was not Eli though the phone number belonged to him. She answered and confirmed she was at the phone. "Oh, good. Hi, I'm Laurel. I'm uhm, Eli's friend." Safer than guessing if he had told his siblings the tumultuous world they were living in. "He wanted me to call and tell you he can't come to the phone, I know he has that standing call with his sister, Emma. He um..." where to even begin? "He got hurt pretty badly, I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Losing the focus of the call, she had to get it together. “ it wasn't his fault." She still didn't have details of what did happen but she knew it wasn't on Eli. "The point is, he's refusing medical care. We are still taking him, and he wanted me to call you first. I can give you my number...just so we're in touch while we take him. I know you're a bit far out, but in the meantime, I can try getting him admitted. Just, please get here soon." Inez was not believing what she was hearing, just nodding along as a thousand questions flew around. But, the most important piece clicked - she had to go to Texas. Isaac hovered with a fussy Emma, silently asking if he heard right. That it was the girl’s fault, whoever she was. “I’ll be there soon,” was all Inez said before hanging up. The phone line went quiet as laurel turned back to face Eli while the med student and Eric helped move him once more. “She’s coming, okay? I’ll get her to you”

The car ride to the ER was quiet, the humming of the a.c. was the only loud sound. She wasn’t sure what the RA said to the nurse but it didn’t take long for them to wheel Eli into a room, Laurel quickly following. She was not kidding about staying with him the entire night. “You’re going to be okay, I promise.” What did the promise entail? She didn’t really know yet, but if her suspicions were right, she would need to reevaluate her presence here.

Laurel stepping away he tried hard to not close his heavy lidded eyes. Oh he knew this was not normal sleepy. She was right but also didn't want to have anyone see him. Explaining this would be hard enough. "Ow," He moved his face as it stung and swallowed thick, "God I feel awful." Eli felt sick, he was dodging calls from the people most important to him. This was unlike him and all he thought about was Emma. Their routine. The promise he'd made her before he left. All broken. Emma must have been so sad he knew that. They had never missed a single call. Not even when he was half asleep trying to work on a paper. "My first time sver not answering her. It breaks my heart."

He knew if laurel called back there was a good chance Isa would answer and then truly there'd be no saving this. "Please. Ask for inez first please." He knew the cooler headed Phillips was Inez after Eli. "Emma needs to know I didn't forget. I just can't come to the phone." He felt tears prick his eyes as they stung. "You'd take bedtime stories for her? Can you sing?" That was the only thing Emma had wanted but Eli lacked. His head nudged into her hand. "Heads feels too big. Is it?"

Holding his hand out he sighed. "I don't like them. It isn't like a cute no don't like it. It's an aversion. I hate them. Makes me ill just thinking about it." Maybe that wasn't hard to say he just didn't think she'd have to know about him and docs so soon. "Think you can stay?" A change from earlier when they flirted with the study breaks.

"Don't lie to inez. She doesn't like it. Tell her what is going on she'll be the one who can give everyone the information and mince words that she doesn't deem relative." One thing he knew about his family was that they didn't like lies. If he lied to them he'd never hear the end of it. "I'm sleepy. So sleepy. If I close my eyes for a second...."

A knock at their door had Eli open his eyes and squint. He wasn't expecting anyone and he knew no one else knew what had happened. Eric poked his head in and smiled. "Hey, I brought a friend with me." Their RA was a med student about to graduate. "Couldn't get the actual thing but got the next best thing." Eli groaned as he tried to move further away into the pillow. It was then where his own fussiness came through.

The male didn't speak much as he checked Eli out. A few bruises on his face, slight concussion and once he pushed on his stomach and heard him gurgle out a pained ow, he turned to the room and sighed. "He's got two ribs that are broken. He's got to get seen." Eli shook his head and gripped laurel's hand. "Get my sister here."

[bluestareyedweakness]

Pre-relatioship

Under the hot lights of the O Club and after a few too many shots, Slider says to Ice, who is standing next to him drinking quietly "I dare you to talk that girl at the bar, the one with the short, brown hair."

Ice's stomach twists.

He stares at the girl, her short brown hair, green eyes and black dress does make her look beautiful, but to talking to her goes against his entire identity.

"Are we allowed forefits?" Ice asks shyly

"No," Slider says with a tiny smirk "You have to do it Ice"

Ice stares at him annoyed while his face is turns red with embarrassment and shame. He knows that he can't do this. Talking to the girl makes his whole body shake but the pressure of having to expose his secret is too much so reluctantly, he walks up to the girl.

At the other side of the club is Goose and Maverick who have just entered. Their full, white naval gear shines under the light as they move straight to the bar. They lean against it, talking absolute nonsense until something catches Goose's eye.

"Mav," says Goose "Isn't that Ice talking to the that girl."

Maverick's eyes widen as he notices Ice standing by the most beautiful girl and buying her a drink. His whole body becomes limp and his legs give way while his heart sinks.

"Mav are you ok?" Goose says concerned for his friend.

Maverick doesn't acknowledge the question, his eyes are firmly locked on Ice.

At the other side of the club, Ice is not talking. He has bought her a drink and hopes that enough to satisfy Slider but he signals for him to do more. Ice sighs and tries to make some moves but he fails miserably every time. He knows he can't run away as Slider will definitely guess his secret so he stands there frozen, having no idea what to do.

Maverick is still staring at him, his heart filling with anger. He mutters something to Goose and pushes through the crowd, trying to get to Ice and he finally reaches him.

"Ice"

"Maverick!" yells Ice, his voice filled with joy and shame. He never wanted Maverick to see him with another person, never mind a girl.

"We need to talk" Maverick states while grabbing Ice's arm. He drags him to the alleyway that is hidden behind the back of the club.

Ice's heart is pounding, he doesn't know what Maverick wants to talk about. Maybe it's the comments he made about his reckless flying or to prove that he's the better pilot, but he knows it can't be good.

They make it to alleyway, and Maverick starts pacing, his eyes are full of rage. Ice stands against the wall, unsure of what is happening.

"Do you love her?" yells Maverick suddenly.

"What?" says Ice, his voice full of shock as he tries to comprehend what Maverick has just said.

"Do you love her?"

"No!"

"Then why were you talking to her?"

"Cause Slider dared me to" says Ice, his voice holding a hint of shame.

Maverick's body slowly begins to relax at the thought that Ice didn't purposefully go to her, but his mind races and anger is still in his eyes.

Realising the tension and starting to understand Maverick's purpose of dragging him to the alleyway, Ice tries to relive his worries, though his mind is still debating whether Maverick is genuine, drunk or is just being dared.

"Mav, I never spoke to her, I didn't even catch her eye." Ice says reassuringly "I just brought myself two drinks and left one on the bar next to her. I wasn't flirting, I wasn't even talking! All I wanted to do was run away."

There's a short silence.

"Will you go to other girls?" Maverick asks quietly, the anger now draining from his eyes.

"Of course not I would never go out with a girl!"

Ice freezes as he realises that he has just revealed his biggest secret. His whole world turns fuzzy and his heart is on the verge of bursting at the thought of Maverick revealing it.

Maverick stares, relieved at the words he just heard. His heart eases and his eyes are now filled with hope. He takes a deep breathe before muttering, "Would you go out with me?"

Ice fumbles.

"Yes" he says, his voice scared but certain.

Maverick moves closer and kisses Ice hard. His heart racing at the thought that his feelings are reciprocated.

Ice stands there shocked but happy. He's wanted to kiss those lips since the day he first saw him.

Maverick eventually moves away, trying to judge Ice's reaction but before he can Ice pulls him back to kiss him again, he's got Maverick and he won't let him go.

They stand there in the alleyway for a long time, both finally expressing the love they have buried.

Back in the club Slider has found Goose at the bar.

"How did it go?" asks Slider

"Easy," says Goose with a smile "all I had to do was point him out. And Ice?"

"Just as easy," says Slider who is also smiling "just play into the fact he doesn't want to reveal he's gay and he'll do anything, even speak to a girl."

"Well I hope their out there confessing their love for each other," says Goose "cause I can't take any more of this flirting nonsense."

"I'll drink to that" says Slider

[shmowder]

But the Mistresses never had it any better! All of them undergo a change, a metamorphosis of their own. And while they retain their memories and preferences, everything else changes.

They're reduced to ghosts, strangers under their own skin. Mere observers on the outside, looking in. The price of prophecy is paid in personhood, as you lose everything that has made you... you, and become unable to become anything. You're not a person once you're clairvoyant, you're a concept, an idea, filled with indifference and apathy to everything you once loved because how else could a mere mortal cope with seeing the future?

Maria was never honest about it, she hid it well. But she knew what was going to happen once she truly transcends. All of the Kains knew their daughter will be gone and a Mistress will take her place.

But you know who was indirectly honest by virtue of age? Capella.

You remember her ominous talks in P1 and P2, all those heavy promises to repay Artemy tenfolds once she comes in power. The distance between the two of you increasing each day, tone growing colder with time, an invisible wall inbetween you could never breach.

Yes! Help them, Artemy. And I will repay you. I am begging you now as a child, but you will have the gratitude of a Mistress. The change is bound to happen very, very soon. You know that the future is an open book to me. Help me attain power-and I will help you keep yours.

You ask if she'll remember you, and she smiles so sweetly, fragile and polite, so ever absentmindedly with a distant look in her eyes as she claims a part of her will, but she won't treat you the same, only repay her debt.

Going through a political marriage with a basically stranger, a boy she holds immense empathy for, but not feelings. She doesn't love him, she answers you when you press her, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't love her, either. But eventually, he will; she foresaw it.

But I shall be one soon, very soon! Think about it, Artemy. You do not know what it's like... when a freckled bare-legged nymph breaks apart, and a graceful alabaster swallowtail emerges in all its glory, its wings covering the people, its love engulfing the world...

Confessing to not loving the person she already set herself up to marry—a 15 year old girl already making arrangements for her own funeral because she knows she will be gone, a ghost will take her place. And where Maria puts on a brave face while looking forward to finally holding the same authority Nina once held, Capella is beyond terrified, yet she steps into the fire all the same.

You witness it happen before your very eyes, bit by bit, her soul fleeting as she replaces every "I" with "We"

This is no laughing matter. I do not love Khan. I doubt I ever will. He is heartless. He is a Kain. Will you do what I am asking of you?

There is one final thing left to be done. The saddest... and the most essential. I cannot escape it. And happiness... happiness demands self-abnegation, does it not?

Allow me to thank you. You will assume authority over the Kin soon. If everything goes well and I assume authority over the Town, we will rule together, you and I. Cherish my gift. Let it bring the soft memories back to life... the memories of the little girl that I used to be.

We will enter into a marriage with Khan. This will put an end to the enmity and the disagreements of our families. We will restore the harmony of ruling. I will become a Mistress and will do what my mother used to. Khan with his army of Dogheads will rule the town. I'll make him white-as I am.

She hid in her mother's corpse the day of her funeral, a 6 year old locking herself in a coffin. Because she was terrified, she was grieving.

She died when I was six. On the day of her funeral, I locked myself in with the coffin, so that no one could take her away from me. That evening, Brother explained there was no other way: The dead must be buried. That is best for them, he said. And then I understood.

And her brother and father only cared to to argue, to yell and slam doors, getting meaner and louder by the day as she folded more and more into herself like a paper crane.

Oh... our family is falling apart. Father and Brother argue all the time, louder and crueler with each passing day. Brother is angry with me... Everything went away after Mother's death.

Regressing what little resemblance of personhood she was bound to have, rendering her teenage years a mere waiting period until the transformation occurs. Out of fear of living them. Out of fear of loving and having friends. Out of fear that if she clung to something then she'll be hesitant to let go of it once her clock strikes midnight.

Maria had a youth, she played with Artemy and other kids, she established a personality and preference. Katerina was completely different before the town changed her, she got to live and let her hair down, to marry the person she loved. Both of them sacrificed the person they were for the power they'll be.

But Capella never even had the chance to be anything or form a single connection. She has nothing to give; all that she could lose she already lost. And that wound never healed. By the time it was her turn on the chopping block, there were no feathers left to pluck.

[nightghoul381]

Groom Training ~ Licht Klein-Episode 1

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do take some creative liberty to make it flow nicely in English, so it's not a one-to-one translation. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Prince. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Epilogue | Special Story

Emma: “Really? You just ate carrots…didn’t you?”

Licht: “……….yeah.”

Struggling with the unpleasant taste that filled my mouth, I somehow managed to nod.

There was a sauteed carrot cut in half left on the plate in front of me.

(Usually I would just ignore them, but the second vow was “I won’t leave anything on my plate even if I don’t like it.”)

(That’s why…)

Licht: “If it’s this much, I can manage.”

I steeled myself and put the other half in my mouth, but the unpleasant taste became even stronger. 

Emma: “Licht, are you pushing yourself too far? That is quite a look on your face…”

Licht: “…”

Licht: “…maybe I pushed myself a little bit too hard.”

Emma: “So I was right!?”

(I wanted to at least make it believable in front of Emma.)

(But still…carrots…this is impossible.)

Emma: “You should have a drink first… No, maybe you should drown it in something with a strong flavor…”

Emma busied herself, picking up and putting down pitchers of water and glancing around the table.

Watching that, the disgust of the unpleasant taste gradually subsided.

(She’s more panicked than I was after I ate the carrot.)

(I’m sorry for worrying you so much, but…it’s so cute.)

Emma: “Licht, I’ll go get some seasonings from the kitchen, so wait here.”

Licht: “Let me wash it down.”

Emma: “Huh?”

I stopped Emma, who was about to leave, and walked over to her.

I then placed my hand on her face, which was still twisted with confusion, and gave her a light kiss.

Licht: “I’m okay now.”

Even when I pulled away, Emma still had a puzzled look on her face.

Licht: “Because kissing you is the sweetest.”

Emma: “wha…”

Emma’s cheeks suddenly turned red and her eyes wandered.

She turned her head to look at her surroundings then turned back to me once more—

Emma: “Mm”

This time Emma kissed me on the lips.

Emma: “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Licht: “Yeah.”

Emma: “That’s great.”

With our foreheads touching, Emma smiled reassuringly from a close distance.

(Not only the kiss, but seeing Emma looking so cute in a panic)

(I barely notice the taste of the carrots anymore.)

(…the fulfillment of the second vow may come sooner than I expected.)

--

After dinner, there was a small, positive reaction—

While practicing the first vow, I enjoyed a bedtime chat with Emma.

Emma: “So the squirrel from before has become a regular visitor.”

Licht: “That’s right. No matter how many times I catch him and let him go, he always comes back to the training grounds and it’s becoming a pain.”

Emma: “The soldiers seem to love it.”

Licht: “Yeah, everyone seems to want to pay attention to it and I can’t get them to concentrate.”

Licht: “So I decided they can only pay attention to the squirrel during breaks.”

Emma: “You made such a cute rule?”

Licht: “I had no choice.”

(My talk is still like a regular report, but thanks to Emma, the conversation is lively.)

(I’ll continue to work at it so that one day I can entertain Emma.)

Emma: “Maybe I should go see the squirrel sometime.”

Licht: “If that happens, I might not be able to concentrate because I’ll want to pay attention to you.”

Emma: “Heehee, if it’s just during a break, would that be okay?”

Licht: “I hope the break will be enough time.”

(No matter what the training is, I enjoy talking to Emma so much that I want to keep doing it forever.)

(But it’s getting late, so let’s put the third vow into practice.)

--Flashback—

Boy: “We’ll talk a lot, I won’t leave anything on my plate even if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you ‘I love you’ and kiss you every day.”

Boy: “I’m going to become a strong man so you can keep smiling from now on!”

--End Flashback—

Emma: “Licht?”

Emma called out worriedly, probably because I’d suddenly gone quiet.

(I do this all the time, but when I think about it, it makes me a little nervous.)

Licht: “Emma.”

With determination, I turned to Emma.

Licht: “I love you. I love you so much.”

Licht: “Thank you so much for always being with me…and loving me.”

I placed my hands on her delicate shoulders and slowly kissed her.

(The third vow doesn’t require any training.)

(But it’s a good idea to practice it so I can continue to express my feelings in the future.)

I wanted to hide my embarrassment, so I just hugged Emma.

Emma then settled against my chest without any resistance and let out a small laugh.

Emma: “Heehee, you don’t need to train to do this.”

Licht: “Yeah, even if I keep quiet, my feelings for you are overflowing—”

Licht: “…Huh?”

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Epilogue | Special Story

[threegoldfish]

Marc is listening, does not interrupt the other - not even once. Just sits there, takes in the sight of that man moving in the most subtle ways, explaining; Talking about how brains work, how minds try to keep themselves sane while handling whatever is coming for them.

All of this makes sense in a way that it's almost frustrating to comprehend - nothing comes up that causes Marc to doubt any of that doctor's observations, his explanations. Another swallow, another inhale of air, with Marc shifting in his seat ever so slightly to get into a more comfortable position as his fingers keep twirling around another, tugging on skin, on bones, making them pop softly as he does. A subconscious thing, still trying to relieve some inner stress that has accumulated within the center of his chest upon waking in that damn room, without having any memories of what must've happened before...

---But then, dark eyes widen all of a sudden and Marc looks back up from where his gaze had been drifting a bit, another wave of surprise hitting him out of nowhere. While he has no fucking idea what OSDD means, it's what follows after that catches his interest in a way that has his blood turn cold, send a shiver along his spine---

You’ve got one part of you that feels like the ‘real’ you - Marc. That’s you right now. And when ‘Marc’ can’t handle something, a different part of you steps in.

Another blink, a soft gasp of sorts as Marc knits his brows once more, tilts his head... No. No, this cannot be about Steven, right? No. Steven does not--- he does not appear without Marc knowing of it, no. Whenever it happens that the other takes over to live his perfectly normal, happy life, Marc is aware of it happening and can watch him - can take control any time he wants, isn't left in the dark. In fact, Marc can even make him appear consciously, is doing it on purpose...

"...OS... DD?" Curious, but also very hesitant and almost scared once again, he breathes that weird term into the air between them - then looks down onto his hands, as if wondering whether they're still there, before his dark pupils are back on the other. "What... what does that mean? What do you mean with... with--- a different part of me stepping in? I'm... I-I'm aware of myself, I know who I am, and I know what I do."

...Usually. Marc presses his lips together with so much force that they're turning white for a solid second or two and he exhales a breath before shaking his head, disbelief and something utterly overwhelmed flooding him as moments pass, one after another. "I mean... until--- until that happened, the... thing. I don't remember any of it."

Lids fluttering a bit, Marc's gaze falls away again - focuses on Harrow's pen instead, the way it just lies there now, since the other has put it down mere moments ago.

He has to think of Steven again...

Only when Marc went quiet again did Arthur shift in his chair, nodding just a bit to show he was listening. He clicked his pen once, twice - and then set it down. “You were never chemically sedated,” he promised; finding it interesting that that would be a concern. It was likely due to the stigma around hospitals, but it was fascinating all the same - if only because Marc was acknowledging that he found his state in the moment to be worthy of sedation. 

“If you had posed a danger to yourself or others, or reached a state where you were unreachable, we have protocols. But we never begin with chemical. I’ll try talking to you first, to ground you. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll get the guards to come in, and they’ll help me hold your arms in a place where you can’t hurt anyone. If you keep fighting, then it depends on the situation. Fighting other people around you will put you in seclusion - you might have heard of a padded room.” 

His lips twitched into a smile, as if he found something funny there. “If you hurt yourself - which you almost did - then you’d be restrained to your bed. Soft restraints, just cuffs to keep you from hurting yourself until the episode has passed. But even that requires oversight. Paperwork, documentation. Getting to the point of needing chemical sedation is a near-impossibility.” 

It felt important to lay that out, if only because keeping clarity was important. 

“To be clear, your episode wasn’t dangerous. You panicked, you were disoriented. But you weren’t violent. Your mind is doing something that it’s built to do - it’s trying to protect you, that’s it. Your mind is compartmentalizing some things - like… putting certain memories or emotions into a box, if it’s too much to handle all at once.” 

The mind was an amazing, fascinating thing. Arthur had a small obsession with it, perhaps, just seeing and reading about the things it could do; even this was fascinating to him, an interesting case that he was already eager to pick apart. 

“Most people do that,” he promised. “Compartmentalize. Daydreaming, zoning out, just… putting something away, so you don’t have to think about it until later. That’s normal. But, you’d agree, this is more than ‘zoning out’. This is something that’s starting to take shape.” 

He didn’t shift again, but did keep his speech slow - kept his eyes on Marc, in case any of this set him off again. He didn’t suspect it would, there was always comfort in hearing ‘this isn’t your fault’ - but it was possible. 

“There’s something called OSDD. It’s not something that I’d call a solid diagnosis, but it also might be as far as we get.” He adjusted his glasses, jaw shifting, displeased briefly with the thought of that before he continued again. 

“Basically, it means that your brain is splitting up parts of your experiences so they don’t touch each other. You’ve got one part of you that feels like the ‘real’ you - Marc. That’s you right now. And when ‘Marc’ can’t handle something, a different part of you steps in. It’s not broken or wrong, it’s just how your brain has built itself. It’s your brain trying to help you.” 

Arthur let it sit again, for a moment. His gaze didn’t leave Marc, didn’t push, but left silence. He nodded again, his voice gentler. “I can tell you more about what that might mean. I can explain it more, or tell you what we should do next. But if you’d rather wait to talk about that, that’s okay. You’ve already handled a lot today, and I don’t want to overwhelm you.” 

[paulyenvol6]

To Lose Yourself (Chapter 9)

Contains: smut, oral (f & m receiving), rough blow job, dirty talk, praise, overstimulation, fighting

Wordcount: 5,532

Masterlist of this story

When Anissa opened her eyes the next day, disappointment instantly casued a sour taste in her mouth.

The spot next to her was empty and for a second she wondered if everything had been a dream. But the wrinkled blanket and the flattened pillow was evidence enough for the fact that she hadn't gone insane and so Anissa cast aside her doubts, instead starting her search for her husband after putting on a cloak. It didn't take long for her to be successful and she almost stumbled into him once she opened the door of their chambers.

"Daemon!" she said sounding surprised and stepped aside to gesture him to enter. The prince tilted his head but followed her request, heading to a chair to sit down.

"Where were you?" she asked, unable to hide her sulkiness. She had wanted nothing more than to wake up next to him and wasn't scared to tell him so.

"Forgive me, my sweet. I went for a stroll by the coast and then stopped by the library," he answered sensing Anissa's disapproval.

"And why?"

"Because I woke up early. And I didn't want to wake you."

Her lips formed a pout, her arms crossing in front of her chest as she glared down at him.

"Don't do this again."

She had expected him to nod and then the whole thing could be forgotten, but to her surprise Daemon uncertainly tilted his head, his eyes thoughtfully narrowing. Anissa couldn't even tell why she felt so angry, but right now the blood in her veins was boiling and there was a thick lump in her throat. She just… she didn't want to feel alone. Left alone. Like someone else had stopped caring about her and now dropped her like a hot potatoe.

"I can't promise you that," Daemon said, his voice much too stable for her taste.

"Why?" Anissa replied.

"Because sometimes it's hard to control myself around you."

She frowned, the anger slowly fading away as her brain worked hard in order to figure out the meaning of his words.

"What do you mean?" she demanded to know, her voice a lot more quiet and insecure now.

"It's hard to lay next to you when you look so pretty, gods be damned. When I want you so badly… and then all I can do is leave to calm myself and get a clear head."

Now Anissa understood and her fury vanished with a puff.

"Oh," she made, letting Daemon pull her towards him by her hands.

"I don't want to leave you. And I'm never going to. But you looked so gorgeous earlier and then all I could think about was feeling you and when it became too much I felt I had no choice but to get out of the room."

"You could have woken me up…," Anissa whispered, running a single finger over his scalp.

"It was so early…," he insisted and hissed out when she took her seat on his lap, her core instantly pushing against his hard cock.

"Sweetling…," Daemon warned, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Let me do something about it," she demanded rocking herself against him and felt him grow bigger underneath her with satisfaction.

"Please. I want you now," Anissa panted, feeling her body heat up to an unbearable temperature.

"We can't," he breathed, gently yet firmly grabbing her hips to get her to stop moving.

"Why not?"

"There's a small council meeting I have to attend," Daemon said, his eyes still closed, but his hands holding her a few inches away from his center so she wouldn't worsen his state.

"We can be quick. Please, just… It's not going to take long."

The prince smirked, carefully lifting Anissa to the ground and then rising to his feet as well.

"Sweetling, when you ask me to take care of you, I'm going to take my time. You better understand that…"

She couldn't hide the telling flushness creeping up on her face although she was still disappointed that she would have to wait until after the meeting to get what she craved so badly.

"But you'll hurry up, won't you?" Anissa asked taking his head into her hands.

"Aren't you such a naughty little girl…," he grinned, tapping his finger against the tip of her nose. "Yes. I'm going to head straight back to our chambers as soon as we're finished. And then you'll better be ready…"

Anissa jerked forwards when he lightly slapped her arse, a surprised look on her face, but then had to giggle while Daemon headed to the door.

"You'll better be ready," she whispered more to herself than to her husband.

Anissa spent the next hour to herself and although she tried to distract herself with reading and having breakfast in her rooms, all she was capable of thinking about was her husband. She never would have guessed that laying with a man would be so pleasant, but right now she felt like never doing anything else in the world. And wasn't she supposed to give Daemon as many heirs as possible? If it meant having him bed her every night she would be happy to oblige, although she obviously didn't know what it was like to carry a child and give birth to it.

While she rotted in her bedchambers, aroused and excited by the memory of last night, Daemon wasn't much better off a few chambers away.

His wife's actions had left an imprint on him as well and the prospect of touching her and squeezing out her sweet little whines after the meeting made it almost impossible for him to sit still. Daemon had his legs crossed, his fingers entangled on the table in front of him and his thoughts definitely not with the current matters of the small council. The only time he snapped back to reality was when Otto on his opposite threw spikes at him with his eyes, his pupils dilated and Daemon could swear he could see flames dancing in the black of them. Unfortunately, the rogue prince hadn't been able to savour his victory yet as he had arrived at the meeting with some delay and all of the men were already gathered, but he hoped to at least exchange a word or two later.

He was more than smug about the anger and frustration in Otto's face and couldn't help himself when he pursed his lips at him, a content sparkle in his light eyes. In response Otto - who had his eyes on him at all times - leaned back in his chair, his nostrils flared, his body almost quivering with rage and his nails painfully digging into the wooden table. Daemon could smell his anger off him and he was certain he could make him explode with one sentence.

Yet he had to wait until the meeting was over because he most definitely couldn't risk enrage his brother right now and so Daemon waited until Viserys rose to his feet to dismiss his lords and only then cleared his throat, his lips curled into a sly smirk.

"My dear Otto, or should I rather say… Father-in-law?"

His opposite almost instantly grew red, his teeth aggressively biting down on his bottom lip as if to stop himself from saying something he would regret. Daemon would surely get it out of him.

"I'm pleased to see you today. I wanted to compliment you on your daughter. She's such a lovely sweet girl. Or perhaps I should rather thank your late lady wife in my prayers later because I can't help but wonder where she got that sweetness from other than her…"

"Quiet."

The sound was harsh, yet restrained and Daemon knew that he had hit a nerve.

"It was merely a compliment. What do you want me to say? Would you be happier to hear that your venom spilled over to her and she's just as rotten as the rest of her miserable family?"

Otto stood up so suddenly that the rogue prince almost flinched. Almost.

"You are a monster. A horrible monster. You've been sent as a punishment of the gods and some day I will make you pay."

The corner of Daemon's mouth twitched and he didn't take a step back when Otto came closer.

"What was the purpose of dragging my daughter into this? I hate you, I despise you, Daemon Targaryen, but I wouldn't go as far as to hurt your loved ones because of my hatred for you."

He was close now, his face inches away and Daemon could look right into the greenish brown of his glistening eyes. Tears.

"You're saying that I'm going to pay? Look at you, dearest Otto. You just did pay. You just payed for all the times that you humiliated and degraded me in front of the council. The times that you weakened my stand in front of my brother because of your own pathetic greed for power. I warned you more times than I can count, but you wouldn't listen. If only you did listen…"

Daemon turned, slowly strutting towards the door, but stopped before leaving the chambers.

"Now you get to to watch us. I'm going to make sure of that. You're going to watch your sweet daughter by my side whenever I want it, you're going to watch my arm around her, my hand on her thigh and eventually you're going to see her swollen with my child and heir. And you're going to watch precisely."

"You are a monster."

He chuckled again but it was a cold and hollow sound.

"Think of something new the next time we see each other."

With these words Daemon was out of the door, contently strutting through the corridor with only one plan in mind. Life was sweet to him right now, so it seemed, because not only had he finally gotten the satisfaction he had always craved and had been able to cause Otto the kind of sorrow he had always aimed for, but he had her. And although it seemed to him that Anissa herself hadn't been certain about his intentions, Daemon was. She was thrilling. Sensational. A perfect pretty flower that not only satisfied him but excited him with every fibre of his body. He hadn't lied when he had said that he loved her and he wasn't shy to say that Anissa had exceeded his expectations for this marriage. The girl was eager to learn and to explore the arts of pleasure and just thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her aroused him.

Daemon's steps fastened as he rushed through the hall and when he opened the door to his chambers only to find Anissa jumping to her feet at his sight, a genuine and deep smile creeped up on his face.

"Hello, my sweet flower," he said and chuckled when his wife wrapped her arms around his shoulders to cage him in a hug that suggested that they hadn't seen each other in years rather than an hour.

"You're late," she accusingly complained and poked him in his side.

"Sorry," Daemon mumbled against her silky hair and dug his fingers into her waist. "But I'm here now."

"I know." Anissa mischievously twisted her lips and then removed her hands from around his body to run them down his front, only to stop at the huge bulge that emerged under his breeches.

"I wanna taste you," she breathed, her voice soft and innocent and in stark contrast to her words and a flicker in her eyes. She was daring. Eager and hungry for him and tired of behaving restrained and passive.

"Yeah, my pretty girl?" Daemon whispered, a rough hand taking hold of the side of her face which forced her to dart up to him.

"Yes. I want it in my mouth."

The prince hesitated, but gave her a wide smirk and for a moment Anissa feared he would deny her but she couldn't have been more off.

"On your knees then, sweetling."

Daemon cradled her head one last time before gently pushing her down by her shoulders, a tender hand immediately connecting with the back of her head. She looked up to him and quietly watched him unlace his breeches although the heat between her legs already was almost unbearable and she had to swallow the quiet little whines, a vocalisation of her need to feel the necessary stimulation between her thighs. But in truth, she was fine with anything. Anissa couldn't quite understand this sudden hunger to be touched or touch, but it seemed like Daemon had shifted something in her ever since last night. Her sensitive pearl was throbbing all the time, her eyes shooting to his veiny hands all the time and her mind wandering off to sinful imaginations whenever she had a moment of peace. But this far Daemon hadn't expressed any doubt about her desires so perhaps there was nothing wrong with it.

She knelt on the floor like a hungry puppy, her nails scratching over her clothed thighs and her husband seemed to free his cock in slow-motion, his hands precise and yet so incredibly slow.

"Please," she whimpered which evoked a low chuckle in him but then it was finally done and his member stood hard against his abdomen.

"You want it?" Daemon asked, lips curling at the way Anissa restlessly shifted on the ground.

"Yes, please. Please, Daemon, fuck… I need it so badly."

He grabbed a hand full of her hair to stroke it behind her ear and then trailed with his thumb down her cheekbone.

"Have you ever done this? Ever sucked a man's cock?"

A cold shiver ran down her spin at the mere thought of committing such crime before her wedding night and she quickly shook her head.

"N-No, of course not. I would never even attempt to – "

"Good," he interrupted her, wrapping a hand around his girth and pumping himself a few times.

"So I'm going to be the first one to bruise that pretty throat…"

Her eyes widened at his choice of words and Anissa's pupils doubtfully flickered over his grinded teeth.

"But it's not going to hurt, is it?"

"No, my love. I'm gonna go slow. Make you adjust to it and… spare your little mouth. Unless of course… you want it to hurt."

She bit on her lower lip as she didn't know what else to do and thoughtfully watched his wry grin.

"No need to rack your brains now, little flower. Open your mouth."

Anissa nodded in conviction and parted her lips wide for him to give him access to her mouth. She was curious to find out what he tasted like and hummed when his tip connected with her lips and then entered her mouth. Her lips closed around his length, a salty taste prickling on her tongue and at first it was strange and unfamiliar but soon she accustomed and dared to lift her gaze up to him. This far, Anissa had been unaware of Daemon's reaction to her actions but now that she let her gaze linger on him for the first time, her insides moved in a happy dance.

His mouth was slightly open, eyes half-closed and the corner of his mouth twitching every time Anissa's tongue grazed over one of the many veins garnishing his majestic manhood. That was why she started to let her tongue trail up and down his shaft, savouring his taste and brushing over the veins as though she wanted to memorize every last of them.

"Fuck… You're being such a good girl for me. Gods be good…"

His praise only added to her excitement and her new goal was to be so good that he would want her like this all the time from now on. That he would ask for her to take him down her throat at any time during the day. She eagerly pressed her flat tongue against his thick girth, the rough surface of it creating indescribable pleasure for Daemon and he moaned loudly, his fingers curling in her hair.

"Seven hells," he cursed and tightened his grip, pushing her a little closer to his center.

Anissa hadn't gone very deep so far, but now she was curious. Curious to learn what amount of pleasure she could make him feel, what sweet noises of praise she could hear from him and how she could please him simply with her mouth and lips. And so she let him slide down her throat until his tip kissed the back which made her tear up and an uncomfortable sting spread in her gorge. Her gag reflexes were triggered, but the loud gasp that her actions evoked in Daemon made her stay still despite her whole body resisting. She breathed steadily, her eyes closed now in order to calm herself and when Daemon ran a hand over the back of her head it was all the soothing she needed.

"Oh fuckk… just like that… You're so good for me, you know that?"

An unnatural squeal left her lips but it was muffled by his thick length that stretched her throat so wonderfully. Anissa carefully let him slip out a little before allowing him to glide down all the way until he hit the back of her throat again, ignoring the discomfort it brought her. Mayhaps he had been right after all. To say that this was pleasurable or nearly comparable to what he had made her feel with his mouth would be a lie. It was the contrary, Anissa's body seemed to refuse to let him enter her every time he pulled out and yet she wouldn't have wanted it any different. Not only did the slight ache arouse her, no, she yearned for more of his praise and compliments, the firm grip he had on her scalp making her press her thighs together as she tried to create some friction by rubbing herself against the ground.

"That's right, darling… Just keep still for me and let me use your pretty mouth," Daemon growled and Anissa glared up to him, her round eyes questioningly observing him but he just cradled her head and let out a soothing coo.

"S'alright. Just stay right where you are…"

With these words Daemon started to move whereas he had allowed her the freedom to move the way she wanted to before. Now he took from her the way he saw fit, rolling his hips and gently pushing his cock past her lips while quiet grunts escaped through his grinded teeth. At first, it felt strange to Anissa, feeling vulnerable by her throat being so exposed to his greedy thrusts and it was odd to give up control. Therefore her hands grabbed his thighs to ground herself a little but after a few minutes she also adjusted to his length and soon surrendered to the movement of his hips. She simply trusted him that hurting her was the last thing he had in mind, his thrusts still cautious and tender while using her throat.

"I'm gonna cum right down that pretty throat of yours… You wanna taste my seed, hm? Want me to paint your mouth?"

Anissa wasn't capabale of answering for obvious reasons but nevertheless she squeezed his leg as a sign of how much she wanted it and in addition, she whined, her tense and aching jaw burning at the continous stretch of his girth.

"I know, my sweet flower…," Daemon soothed her, aware of the fact that his rought treatment contained a little bit of suffering, but the gentle touch of his hand on her nape made up for it.

"You're doing so amazing for me and I know it hurts but you're a big girl, right?"

Anissa gulped, her hands so firm around his thigh that her knuckles turned white, but Daemon allowed her the relief and then growled loudly as he emptied himself in her mouth. His eyes squeezed shut, his nails digging in her scalp with an equal amount of force as he pushed her head against his center to make sure she would swallow all of it. There was a moment of resistance in which Anissa winded and squirmed like a cat, her claws leaving marks on his skin but then she surrendered to him with the realization that everything would be better if only she stopped fighting it. Daemon loosened his grip on her head and just watched her through half-litted eyes as the effects of his high made him all lazy and hazy.

"Fuck…," he whispered and then pulled his flaccid manhood out of her mouth which Anissa replied to with a unwilling moan. Then he tucked himself in, closing his breeches and leaned down to his wife, who had waited for him, patiently sitting on her knees, but mayhaps it was simply the consequence of her very own needy state. Daemon kissed her and chuckled as she intensified it, her teeth clashing against his with so much force that he had to take hold of the side of her face in order to slow her down.

"Careful, my love," he cooed and then finally helped her up by grabbing her upper arms.

Anissa was a little weak on her knees but managed to sit down on the table Daemon had guided her to, his large hands adjusting her to his liking. In the end, she sat on the wooden surface with her legs spread as wide as her gown allowed and her mind controlled by her weeping cunt.

"Please, Daemon," she immediately begged once his eyes were on her.

"What," Daemon hissed and shamelessly ran a finger from her neck down the gap between her breasts and her stomach until it rested on her mould, Anissa shifting under the pressure he applied.

"Please. I need you. Need your… cock."

He laughed and it was a friendly sound, one that she was sure she had never heard before marrying Daemon, but now made her heartrate shoot up and brought her joy on many occasions during the day.

"No, little flower… You're gonna get my mouth now, mhm? Don't you think your little pussy is going to like that?"

Her hands reached down to grasp his wrist, trying to push it lower but Daemon didn't allow it, laughing at her attempt and then taking her hands with his free hand to press them against her stomach.

"Answer me."

Her pupils were flared as she raised her gaze and almost instantly let out a whimper that drove him insane.

"Y-Yes. I would like that, Daemon, please."

"Good," was all he said before pushing the fabric of her gown up in one motion and ruffling it up on her waist.

"Hold on to that," he commanded and then fumbled with her underwear while Anissa unpaitently squirmed on the table to receive any kind of stimulation. She shrieked when she heard a ripping sound but the prince was quick to kiss her cheek.

"Shhh… You're gonna relax now, alright? Gonna lay on your back like a good girl and let me feast. Let me feast from your perfect little cunt and then give me as many orgasms as I like, okay?"

She nodded although she certainly wasn't aware of what she had just agreed to. Daemon guided her to lay down, the fabric of her dress protecting her sensitive skin on her back from the surface and then got herself comfortable while Daemon removed the pieces of her underwear to have perfect access to what hid underneath. Her cunt seemed to radiate with heat, her wetness drooling down the insides of her thighs and Anissa surely would have felt embarrassed hadn't she felt so needy for his touch.

"Gods be fucking good…," Daemon whispered, mesmerized by her glistening folds and brought two fingers to her slit and trailed them up to her pearl.

"You're drenched. Did it turn you on, mhm? Getting your throat fucked by me?"

Anissa just wanted to moan and let her cunt speak for itself but by now she knew that her husband demanded an answer to his questions so she nodded and almost painfully drew her face.

"Yes. Yes, I… please, please give it to me."

Daemon kissed her mouth, nibbling at her bottom lip for a brief moment before falling to his knees in front of her and turning his attention to another pair of lips. She cried out from the pleasure reaching her so suddenly and quickly grabbed the back of his head because she might have squirmed away from him otherwise.

"Fuck!" Anissa squealed, her eyes rolling back when Daemon's pointed tongue traveled to her clit and her legs closing around his head as she tried to catch up with the air-cutting thrill that happened between her thighs.

"Yes… You're so perfect for me, aren't you?" he whispered, a tender hand rubbing over her hip. His lips involved her pearl in a kiss, pleasuring and devouring it as though he meant to worship it and Anissa bit down hard on her own hand, the noises surely inappropriate to be heard by the servants at such an early hour. But she should have known better, Anissa thought when Daemon delivered a light slap to the side of her arse, frowning in disapproval and grabbing her hand to press it to the desk next to her stomach.

"No," was all he said but it was also all he needed to say.

His voice, although it sounded a little weak and thin, radiated authority and dominance and so Anissa didn't resist when he pinned her wrist down. She was still self-conscious about producing too much noise, but something about the way he kitten-licked her pearl, his soothing touch on her legs and the way his eyes darted up to her every now and then made her feel safe enough to let out her whines and pleas. She wanted to be good for him. Make him proud and hear his voice tell her how well she behaved for him and she had a feeling whenever a croaked "Daemon" escaped her throat his touch became even more intense and precise, his tongue drawing firm circles around the little nub.

And then there were his words of course. She wasn't showered with praise of course as his mouth was busy eating her cunt like it was his breakfast, but he pulled away every now and then to praise her and tell her how good she tasted or how well she was doing for him and it sent her straight to heaven every time. Anissa's skin was flushed and seemed to glow whenever he smiled at her and soon her world was about to break down.

"Daemon… Daemon, fuck," she panted, somehow feeling the need to let him know what was about to happen.

"You're gonna cum for me?" he said as he felt her hips buckle up and her heels dig into his shoulders. Her whole body was heated, liquid fire spreading from her tummy through her limbs until it ignited her fingertips and prickled so vigorously, it was both uncomfortable and enthralling. Her pulse thundered, the tension about to burst and then it did and Anissa cried out in purest pleasure.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, Daemon!" she screeched, far beyond caring about the noise she was making and gripped his hair while little shock waves made her twitch, her head turned to the side. It was a most overwhelming and elecrifying moment that didn't last long enough though because soon her back connected with the surface of the table again and all that was left to hint at her high were her trembling legs and her heavy panting.

In the meantime Daemon had kept his mouth pressed to her cunt, licking and slurping her juices like it was the most delicious drink he had ever had and now was indifferent to the way her body winded in pain as his tongue still brushed over her overstimulated pearl.

"D-Daemon…," she pressed, her neck bent to look what he was doing and whether he had simply missed her release which was impossible when she thought about it. His eyes shot up to her, a single eyebrow lifting and a questioning look on his face.

"What, little one?"

"You can stop now…," Anissa mumbled, her head thrown to the side again when he inserted two fingers into her cunt.

"Why? I told you, you're gonna give me as many as I want to. And I think I want one more."

She gasped and it was hard to tell whether it was caused by the content of his words and the prospect of finishing again or the touch of his rough tongue grazing her most sensitive bundle of nerves.

"B-But… it's too much, I can't – "

"Yes you can. You're doing it right now, you see? You just need to take what I give you and then I'm gonna be very happy with you."

Anissa wanted to protest again, but she didn't have the chance to as he pushed his two fingers deeper inside her and along with his lips wrapped around her pearl she felt in heaven and in one of the seven hells at the same time. It was too much and it seemed like her body wanted to tell her that she needed a break, but there was no way of denying the way she reacted to him. Pleasure lingered at her core again, her clit deliciously throbbing as Daemon guided her towards that certain edge that separated heaven and earth again and she knew that whatever he was going to make her feel, it would be divine.

"Fuck, Daemon…," she whinced, sweat glistening on her bare thighs and her lifeless arms laying next to her body now. She didn't even have the power to hold on to him, as she had no choice but to just let him do with her body as he saw fit.

"C'mon, sweet flower… I know you wanna cum again. You have to allow yourself to."

She blinked a few times, his frame blurry and foggy before her eyes but something about his face between her legs only added to her excitement and her toes curled involuntarily.

"Yeah I know you like that…," Daemon commented on her physical reactions, smirking in delight not only at her sweet taste, but his ability to make her arch and bend like this just from the touch of his mouth. He curled his two fingers inside of her grazing over this sensitive spot so deeply hidden inside of her and Anissa felt like her body was ascending from the table, making her feel things she had never felt before and she wondered how it was possible that the sensation became even better and more intense. Her chest arched and Daemon couldn't help himself and grabbed her left breast, kneading the flesh before blindly searching for her nipple through the fabric of her dress. Once he had found it he took it between two fingers rubbing and toying with it until she winded under his touch.

"Oh Daemon… Gods, I – I… I wanna…"

The unfinished sentence flowed in the air, her mind incapable of forming a coherent sentence, but before she could attempt it again a second high crashed over her and it seemed to be even bigger than the first one. Her mouth was agape but no sound escaped while Daemon pushed his digits even deeper inside of her, keeping them pressed to her sweet spot until her orgasm faded away and he decided to give her some rest.

"Daemon," Anissa whimpered, teary eyes glancing down at him and he lifted his head from her core with a wide smirk on his face, kissing the skin of her thighs and then standing up again. She blinked but didn't seem to be fully back again, her eyes unable to focus on his face which was why Daemon pulled her in for a hug and kissed her neck.

"You did so wonderful, my love. So perfect for me… I'm proud of you."

Her weak hands clung to his shirt and when the prince drew away, her eyes were big but very satisfied.

"M'tired," she whispered and let her head drop forwards to rest against his chest.

"That's not good, honey," Daemon chuckled and used both of his hands to cradle her head. "We have a whole day ahead of us. But you can rest now for a bit, alright? I'm gonna go to Caraxes for a bit and you'll stay here, alright?"

Her head moved a little, but Daemon wasn't sure whether she had actually heard him so he held her head a few inches away from him, examining her glossy eyes.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, Daemon," Anissa mumbled and even managed to give him a smile.

"I love you."

His heart skipped a beat and the corner of his mouth twitched although he knew that the aftermath of two orgasms played their part in her emotionality.

"I love you too, flower," he hummed, pressed one last kiss on her brow and then adjusted her dress.

"Get some rest, sweetling. I'll be back soon."

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@archerxnn @calmingmelody96 @aleemendoza2425-blog @madeinmyownmind-blog

[cloverrwritess]

hi! can i request an angela giarratana x reader where courtney, amanda, and chanse try to get r and angela together? r isnt sure if angela likes women and angela isnt sure if r likes her, but its VERY obvious they like each other? tyy

Title: Party Kiss

Angela Giarratana x Fem! Reader

Request: Yes | No

author’s note: omg thank you for requesting this! I was waiting to write an Angela fic!

Angela and Chanse were getting ready for the Smosh office party. Work ended early for everyone to go back home and have time to get ready. They both decided to get ready at his place since it was closer to the office.

“Did you see her today? She looked so so pretty holy shit”

“Listen bitch, if you don’t go up front with your feelings, I will tell her myself” Chanse spoke to Angela, picking up two different hangers to see what shirt he would wear for the party.

“Please don’t I’ll absolutely cry myself to sleep if she rejects me” Angela begged falling on her knees, clasping her fingers together.

“Reject? I swear you’re so blind when it comes to seeing her act around you, this is a lost cause”

Chanse sighed before taking his phone and texting rapidly. He had an idea in order for Angela to stop moping around—he was getting tired of her overthinking too much of being ‘rejected’. Anyone with eyes could see the feelings were mutual, well besides both of them apparently.

He opened his messaging app and looked for Courtney’s number, he started asking if she would join the office party, once he got his answer which was a yes, he started telling Courtney about hopefully getting the two to confess their feelings towards each other and finally let the office be quiet for once.

________

“Angela wearing that white tank top today did things to me” I said to Courtney, knowing she was tired of me.

They sighed and put their hand on my shoulder “I’m telling you she has a huge crush on you, I’ve never seen Angela act like this towards anyone”

“Stop it, I told you already that I don’t know if she likes women or not” Sighing from defeat “It would be so awkward to tell her how I feel just for her to tell me she wasn’t into girls”

Courtney’s phone buzzed in her pocket, taking their phone out before typing on her screen.

I continued getting ready, letting her reply to whoever she was typing that rapidly to.

“Are you ready to go?” Courtney asked, taking their purse and ruffling her hair.

“Yeah, let’s go” I replied, straightening my clothes and looking at my face from the mirror one last time to check my makeup had no smudges.

________

We could hear the loud bass from outside the building. As we entered the building, the music was echoing. Courtney and I both got greeted by Anthony and Ian, pointing at the table with drinks and food prepared.

Both of us got a red solo cup and poured a punch. We both danced for a while before Courtney was taken away by Shayne.

“I’ll catch up with you later! Be safe, okay?” They yelled, I couldn’t quite hear them that well from the music.

I eventually was stuck in a conversation with Damien, about how his recent anime voice acting was doing.

He left for a bit to use the restroom. I was alone standing near the corner of the space where the party was held—I looked around the crowd until I made eye contact with her.

Angela was next to Chanse and Amanda, I felt my heartbeat quicken, seeing her cute quirky smile made me follow her facial expression. She raised her cup and winked.

I was then pulled away, looking at whoever was pulling me, It was Courtney. “Bathroom Break!”

________

Courtney was putting her lip gloss on her lips. “Give yourself the opportunity to tell her” She closed her lip gloss tube and turned to look at me.

“It’s now or never”

I sighed heavily, knowing I can’t get out on this one now “Maybe, you know, waiting for the right time?”

“Now or never”

They grabbed my arm and we went outside the bathroom to immerse ourselves in the party again.

“Court, there you are! I need you for a sec!”

“Yeah we totally need you”

Both Chanse and Amanda, grabbed Courtney by their arms away and walked away “Great, alone again”

“Are you feeling alright?” I turned to the owner of the voice—seeing Angela, still holding her solo cup.

“Yeah, I’m okay, Chanse and Amanda just dragged Courtney away from me that’s all”

Angela hummed before taking a sip from her cup. "Can I tell you something?”

We both made eye contact again and felt my face heat up.

“I don’t have the balls to do this if we were alone but I like you a lot—actually love you. Ever since we started working together and hanging out a lot, I knew I was feeling something for you, you’re way out of my league and we can pretend this didn’t happen if you don’t feel the same”

“I thought you weren’t into girls that’s why I never made a move on you” I chuckled “turns out, we were just idiots”

We both laughed and she held my hand, interlocking our fingers together, staring into each other's eyes.

“Can I kiss you? Please”

Next thing I knew, we were basically making out in front of the bathroom. It felt like it was just us in this big building.

I pulled away first and smiled. “You’re perfect”

“Not to interrupt you guys but I really need to use the bathroom” Angela and I turned to the direction of the voice and found Arasha holding her stomach.

Angela and I laughed, she gestured to the bathroom door like a butler. “This way

Madam”

“Let’s go to my place, more privacy”

“Sure thing, babe”

I got a hundred missed call from Courtney the next day.

Thanks to Angela, I'm 20 bucks richer xoxo Courtney

[asgardian--angels]

things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

[amateurplanner]

@ofhiddenastute

[I didn't know what would happen when MJ touched my hand... You know, aside from the decent probability that I would completely burst in elation that MJ was touching me again. To be honest, as weird and shifty as I was being on this date, I wouldn't have blamed her if she slapped me across my face and then she rushed out of here; wanting to get as far away from me and my vagueness as possible. To my relief, that hadn't happened... yet... Instead, she seemed curious enough about our history to ask more questions. This is a good sign, right? I silently wondered to myself. Okay, here goes nothing. I thought to myself as I just decided to come out with it, and hope for the best] Yes... We... Uh... We were a couple, MJ. [I started to ramble out. Barely taking a second breath before I continued to rattle on even more anxiously and awkwardly than I had already been] Okay, MJ... I don't want to lie to you or to keep secrets from you. You're too important to me for that, so I'm just going to tell you the truth... [Exhaling lightly as a means of catching my breath before I continued] You and I have known each other for years... We went to school together and we were together on that trip to Europe. I gave you that necklace... [I paused to offer a quick clarification] Well, technically Happy gave you that necklace on my behalf because I was off fighting bad guys and was afraid I might die before I could give it to you. We became a couple after that, and well, things were great with all of that for awhile until more bad guys came along... Long story short, I screwed everything up. Dr. Strange had to do a memory wipe to remove all memories of me from their minds to basically save the world... [I paused. My brows furrowing as I tried to read her expression. Sure, I left the "Spiderman" detail out, which would have been really important, but assuming MJ doesn't run out of here and immediately file a restraining order on me, I planned to get to that part] I know all of this sounds crazy, and I had promised you right before the memory wipe that I would find you and tell you all of this, but that first time I went into the coffee shop to see you after the memory wipe, I saw the cut on your head, and I froze. I realized you being with me put you in danger, and I don't want you getting hurt again. I'm sorry if all of this is overwhelming, MJ. Scaring you or freaking you out is the last thing I wanted to do, but you know I'm a terrible secret keeper. Especially keeping secrets from you. [My brows furrowing again before I offered yet another clarification] Well, I guess technically you don't remember that fact about me because you don't remember me, but trust me, I'm terrible at keeping secrets, especially from you. [I stopped again. This time taking a few breaths since I had been rambling for so long, but also to give MJ time to process everything I just dropped in her lap]

ofhiddenastute

[She looked beautiful when she opened the door. I’m talking, take my breath away beautiful. I mean, a different kind of take my breath away, since I was out of breath swinging here, so I made it on time. Either way, she looked great. It brought me with a sense of relief because I know MJ rarely dressed up. Typically she only did if she was forced to, or if she was really excited about something. Given that she wasn’t forced to go on this date with me tonight, I knew she must be dressed up because she was excited about it. At least I hoped that was the case, cause I knew I was. MJ and I had come so far with each other over the years. We went from being two people who got on each other’s nerves, to eventually tolerable of each other, in time friends, and then more time after that, I realized I had a crush on her. Lucky for me, she liked me too, and well, our relationship just blossomed from there. Then this multiverse stuff happened, and Strange had to work up that spell that everyone would forget who I was, in order to save the world, and now here MJ and I were back to being strangers. Well, one-sided strangers, I should say, since I knew everything about her. It was me who was the stranger to her. I thought silently to myself as I ultimately held up the busted bouquet of flowers in front of her. Needless to say I was pretty embarrassed that our first date since her memories were wiped of me, and I brought her busted flowers. Beyond that though, I had to wonder why I even brought her flowers, cause I knew MJ didn’t like them. She found things like flower bouquets to be lame and a waste of money. In my defense though, I didn't  technically pay for these since they were swiped from someone’s garden on my way here] Got it, and don’t worry, I’ll always show up. [Okay, I promised that a little faster than I should have, since that wasn’t a promise I’d always be able to uphold, given that I was Spider-man. You never know when crime might happen, and my plans might need to suddenly change, as a result. I’d just cross that bridge when the time comes though, I guess] You’re right, some dogs really are no joke. [I muttered out awkwardly. Knowing MJ like I did though, I knew she didn’t buy my dog excuse. Note to self, come up with better excuses going forward] Same. I’m starving too. I was really excited for today, so I haven’t eaten anything but that doughnut. [I admitted] I think you’ll like this place I’m taking you to. [Truthfully, I already knew she liked this place, since it’s where I took her on our first date after we returned from our trip to Europe, and we had gone there a lot since then too. I considered optimistically as MJ joined me here on the porch. Out of instinct I nearly reached over to take her hand in my own, but knowing, from MJ’s perspective that we just met, I knew that sort of gesture would probably scare her off… Well, either that or she’d slap me. Maybe both. I silently told myself as I waited until she was at my side, and we started toward the direction of the Italian restaurant I was taking her to] Thanks for agreeing to go out with me tonight. [I eventually said with a nervous smile as I peered over at her. I wasn’t really sure what to walk about with her… You know, without sounding stupid or creepy, so I went with the first thing that came to mind] So, you excited for Christmas? [Lame, Peter. Seriously, get it together. I silently scolded myself. In my defense though, I had to be careful with my topic choices, or else I’d give away something I already know about her, and risk creeping her out, as a result]